Warped Feminism

What has always intrigued me is the behaviour of the two sexes. They react differently in the same situation, have very different ways of tackling problems and different lines of thought. To all the people who think both the sexes are the same and perfectly capable of doing the same thing efficiently for every single thing...it's not true. Feminism seems to have taken a whole new turn. Unfortunately, it bugs me so bad that I'm willing to face criticism on this very public site from every single chick i know, whose a feminist. From fighting for the right to equal wages and voting(which I approve of, mind you)we have gone to extremes where we think we are superior and can do everything far better than a man can. We demand more reserved seats, tennis women demand equal pay when they play 3 sets unlike the men who play 5, we have a woman's quota in some medical college and god knows what else! Let me be clear when I say I've always wanted equal rights for women. But they dont seem 'equal' anymore.We seem to be getting a lot more than necessary and we dont seem to have stopped asking. Unfortunately, due to all this, I have become an irrational women hater.I do not want a sex change so dont even suggest it.The reason for this atttitude started during my train rides. Women are just born annoying. I think. They 'claim' seats(still dont know why that system works and why new dunderheads spring up and follow it), nag you when you dont answer questions poking fun at your upbringing, do not help women entering the trains, in fact making it more difficult to enter, dumping half of their arses on the fourth seat and my leg, have poor judgement and sense of direction and behave like kids-all for that goddamn window seat!For all their caring and sensitive nature*rolls eyes*, it seems to fly out the window during the train journey. Men are far cooler in trains. Women have this annoyong habit of mothering you(I speak on behalf of my guy friends),giving you advice when you dont ask for it,calling to catch up on your life(mainly to get some new tidbit of gossip), hugging you even though you just met yesterday and their constant need for details.They seem to lack any sense of comprehension when you give them subtle but obvious hints and think you're rude if you're blunt with them.Apologising to a woman is by far, the worst. A man doesnt mind a simple sorry. The less hassled ones dont even mind if you start talking normally with them. They consider it forgotten. In fact, I find that men are slightly annoyed sometimes with the number of times a woman says sorry and their long drawn out apologies. I guess this is due to a habit developed because women do it to each other.She has to talk about what led her to do the thing she did,, what she did, what consequences it had,how it was all a misunderstanding, how she misinterpreted it and will never do it again..blah blah...Sometimes women do not realise that feminism is a curse. Women have taken on 2 jobs now instead of one. And they do it single handedly. They rationalize by saying they can multi task well. I'm sure men can do it too but they seem smarter to not even try and worry themselves unecessarily.Someone was right when they sent me a forward saying 'with women ruling the world, there wont be a war.We would just be stuck with jealous countries not talking to each other.'You can blame Eve for being curious like a woman always is, and eating the apple all you want but now you can blame the feminists for claiming to be superior and dumping additional work on us. Thankfully my non feminist mother has left me the option of choosing.
Finally.
I'll choose the less painful, therefore successfully evading Eve's curse.

Alleluia!

Disclaimer:These are my own thoughts. Hurting religious sentiments is not intended. Anything apart from character judgements is welcome.

My history is necessary for this post. I have a Roman Catholic mother and a Hindu father.My father didn't wish to baptize me for the simple reason that he wished to give me a choice. I have gone to church for as long as I can remember and Sunday school till fourth grade.I got sick of sunday school and quit, giving my mother the water tight reason of feeling left out because everyone I knew were preparing to receive the sacrament of communion. The real reason was simple: it made no sense.

Slowly, my transformation to the other extreme began. Being an aethist was easy and it went well with my naturally cynical way of looking at things. I scoffed at the ten commandments, how God would destroy a whole world of people and then regret it later(Noah's Ark), how God was so vengeful every single time someone did something wrong...Honestly, I thought God had some serious temper issues...

The rosay at home stopped. However the church going continued since I didnt want to upset my mother. Till then, karma seemed to make more sense than religion. What goes around comes around. Though I never believed in it but I never saw anything wrong with it either. However, a simple fact escaped me. The wrongs that I have done in my life far exceed the right. If I have to pay back for all of those things, I would definitely have the most miserable life possible.And I didnt seem to be having one.So karma was definitely out.

That led me to believe that I read the bible without a clear head. So I started to read the world's bestseller and most shoplifted book far more carefully.Today I think the Bible makes sense but the Catholic Church doesnt. All the things that I've been brainwashed into believing the first eleven years of my life came back and I realised it wasnt the Bible's fault. It was the Church, for twisting it or not explaining it well at all.

Baptizing few month old babies when Jesus himself was baptized at the age of 30 seems like forced conversion to me. Brainwashing kids into believing that you have to pray at a particular time during the day(because God is only gonna hear you then), not allowing nuns to say the mass(this coming from a non feminist)and listening to the same sermons every single year that are way too far fetched to even try.

Banning the Da Vinci Code book, saying that it goes against your faith, tells me how not confident they are about your faith and how it can be easily manipulated-because of a single book. The Church seems afraid of questions and people are so used to the routine that no one asks. Why cant you let people read and decide for themselves?

What infuriated me(though it may sound petty) was the sudden hate directed towards the Harry Potter books. It apparently propogates dark magic and gives you ideas about magic and how things can be achieved without the need of faith.Have they read the books? The books clearly put Dark(black) magic on the bad side and the only thing that could defeat it was love. In fact, Severus Snape who gets lured into the Dark Arts but leaves it to join the Order reminds me of the prodical son or Paul.

The books led to many kids finally taking up reading(including me) as a hobby-which was dying then..

The way the Chruch twists one of the beatitudes makes me nauseous.

'Happy are the poor for they are rich in spirit.'

And then the priests goes on to tell you how its allright to be poor. That God is always there to take care of you and atleast you'll get better rewards than the rich in heaven. That the rich do not get a good nights sleep because they're constantly worrying about money while the poor can sleep well because they've had a honest day's work and have nothing to worry about.

Plainly romanticizing poverty.

Dont swallow that vomit.

It's not okay to be poor. You dont need to be happy in that rut that you're living in. Work hard for more and there's damn well nothing wrong with wanting more. A rich man can do an honest day's work and still get sleep at night. And still get to heaven. You probably would be stupid for not trying and just waiting to die so God can handfeed you.

All of the seven deadly sins(gluttony,lust,greed,despair,wrath,pride,vanity,acedia) are natural human tendencies and you do tend to give in to them(some of them to me are allright as long as you arent hurting someone else). And when you do hurt someone and feel guilty about it and truly regret it, you can go ask for forgiveness(the whole point of Jesus dying for you-which nullifies the karma law-and therefore makes more sense).

"In the past the Church used to just kill everyone who posed the remotest threat to their empire..They cant do that anymore so they struggle to mantain some semblance of power and relevance with stunts like these." -Yash.

Hopefully, one day I will have the courage to raise my itching hand in the middle of mass, and ask him some of my questions.

Rads..

I've always come to goa for every vacation since my family is here. Sometimes i've had enough of the family and would prefer a vacation somewhere else. But I feel bad for my mother and grandmom and try to be as accommodating as possible but I do let my displeasure be made public when it comes to certain members of my family.(CMOF)

One of my cousins is constantly put down by CMOF because of her failings as a student. It will suffice to say that I loathe them. However this cousin is someone who is constantly in love. Probably the main reason for her failings. At first, I tried to make her understand that love at this point is never a sure thing but education is.But her blatant denial and immense belief in this feeling is daunting and one wonders where she gets her enthusiasm from. One would think she would give up on it since she's failed so many times. But it hasnt scarred her young heart. She ploughs on and tells me how it is the only thing that can make you feel the safest in this world. Being a hardcore cynic myself, I find it disbelieving.She's the one that I have to tell my sordid girl problems to, since she can worm and whine anything out of you. She gives me the most pathetic advice, always telling me to give the guy a chance..a second one..a third one. I dont take her advice from the start. But the way she pleads and begs me to stay in love is disturbing. She acts like its the only thing that can save me. Like its the only thing that's important. More than stability and safety. I have tried to make her see reason with regards to her choice in men but she always says love isnt selective. It doesnt happen only to people who are rich, educated and from good families, like our parents want us to get married to. Fat people are allowed to love. So are ugly, uneducated, deformed and the poor. I have no answer to the impossible things she says sometimes. Her positive attitude is irresponsible, irrational and sometimes, causes irritation. Espescially when she cant see through people. She smiles at people who put her down. She laughs when people make mean sarcastic jokes about her. Sometimes I think its a defence mechanism but she honestly believes that no one can possibly hate and despise her, not even wish bad for her. She shakes her head regretfully and apologises on my behalf if I get into a fight defending her. It makes me want to wring her neck.

She's the same age as me and I wonder sometimes how she will survive.Better than me, I sometimes think. With the way she's so trapped in her bubble. She just might be one of the few people i've loved completely and fully. When I feel hopeless, she might be the only one with her unique attitude to tell me the good points of my damned situation. Only she could find them. Only she could possibly make me hope because of her fervent and sincere belief in the situation.

I know I can never be like her and I probably never will. But there are few people like her on this planet. Few people who believe there is hope and love is still pure and fresh. That lies and deceit is impossible. That this world can still be saved. And it's probably for this reason that i will try to protect her as long as I can. Till the tidal wave comes and bursts her bubble. Till then, this world still has hope.

Learning it the hard way.

People's expectations can be daunting. People who are close to you brainwash you into thinking you need things when you're better off without it. when you dont reach what they think you're capable of, you get their looks and talks. It makes you think, "Are you worth of it?"
I've realised when people put you down, they really wanna make them selves feel good. Some people have walked in and out of my life this last year. Some have been bitter...some, good riddance, I say. Some have been great experiences and some forgettable. People who you've known for so long were not what they seemed to be anymore. You wonder where you went wrong. When treating you badly and taking you for granted had become okay for them. It's confusing and disorienting in the start. When they finally walk out, or you throw them out yourself, you realise they've been like this all the while. You just took it then. And now, you cant. Now, you're sick of it. Sometimes I wish I'd never met them in the first place. I wish I'd made it a point to ignore them. To never let them in.
But then I dont want to say the glass is half empty. These people have taught me the darker side of human nature. It's made me more cautious and pay attention to people better. I let everyone in now. But I decide who stays. I decide if I want to listen to them. I decide if they're worth it. I decide if I wanna give a shit. You are better than no one. But no one can make you feel lesser than anyone either.
Looking back, I don't cry about it being over. I smile because it happened. Or smirk, in some cases. When it comes to my career, I've stopped making plans. When it comes to guys, I've stopped making a checklist. Being bored is very rare now. I realised, in a rare moment of clarity, that no moment is ordinary. There is never nothing going on. Every single emotion- love, lust, hate, jealousy, hate is breakable.
Except obsession.
That is where we need to draw the line.
Sometimes things that people do are unforgivable. But one forgets that no one loves you completely. Atleast not more than themselves. One needs to accept. Accept that people can make mistakes. Not always to the extent that you have to forgive and forget always. Being a saint was never my thing. But dont let it fuck your happiness. And even if it does, let it do minimal damage. Enough to make you smarter and realise that people are never what they seem to be.
Sometimes one needs to forget about being wary. One needs to forget the outcome and result. One needs to stop thinking. Period.
Where are you?
Here.
What time is it?
Now.
What are you?
This moment.

What do we want?

Do we like paying the bills?

Or is washing the dishes better?

Do we like being given the jacket when its chill?

Or prefer the rider's seat on the bike better?

Do we really like the babies?

Are we more comfortable in the boss's chair?

Is it fun behaving like a lady?

Or more fun shocking by shaving off all your hair?

Do we like a romantic dinner?

Or playing ball on the beach?

Is it fun getting any thinner?

Or do we prefer enjoying what we eat?

Do we really like the shopping?

Or do we prefer our old jeans?

Or is it just very comforting?

That appearances are the only thing they see

Do we like the usual 'I love you'?

Or a frantic kiss in the middle of the argument?

Do you force him to make a choice-them or you?

Or let him cool by staying silent?

Do we like cleaning up after him?

Or are we comfortable with the mess?

Do we always think he needs a trim?

Or are his long tresses, tickling you, the best?

Do we like talking about our day?

Or only talk when asked about it?

Do we like always having our way?

Or love a man who doesnt take our shit?

Do we like them poor but rich in spirit?

Or being pampered because you're worth it?

Do we like them muscular and fit?

Or the lean and smooth who can do a flip?

Do we like the good boys watch romcoms?

Or the ones that talk dirty, always surrounded by a mob?

Do we like it when they dedicate a song?

Or laugh with you at couples who,in public, snog?

Do we like to gossip and let out secrets?

Do we prefer writing it in our diaries?

Do we like playing hard to get and being mysterious?

What do we want?...We know, very rarely....

Love songs we love to hate..

Chickas and predictable non original men..change your tastes...read this somewhere..kinda mirrors what i feel..
1) My heart will go on-Celine Dion
Why oh why didnt someone push this shrieking banshee off the sinking ship before she opened her mouth and cranked up this tortorous number? 'My heart will go on...' What does that even mean? Does her heart want to burst out of her chest and go forth and scream hysterically as it runs far away from her voice? We think so.

2) "ILU ILU' movie: Saudagar
It's the only song that makes 'I love you' sound offensive and downright obscene and the song writers knew that. Why else would they keep stressing 'ILU ka matlab I love you I love you?' Get it?
Now get your mind out of the gutter.

3)'Love me for a reason.' by Boyzone
Okay, you stupid boy band. Who wrote this? Was it written on a napkin?In crayons? By a FOUR YEAR OLD? 'Love me for a reason..let the reason be love..' Its ironical that the line has the word 'reason' mentioned in it twice..yet the concept is completely lost.

4) 'How am I supposed to live without you?' Michael Bolton
For a while this crooner distracted us with the dead cat sprawled across his head. But after he cut his hair, we just realised how much his music sucks. As far as this song goes, good God, pull yourself together..get a backbone..some song writing skills would be nice too.

5)'Everything I do' Bryan Adams
This is the mother of all bad love songs. This syrupy song was an enormous hit and made women everywhere swoon. But doesnt anyone get what Bryan is trying to say? When he picks his nose..when he leaves the toilet seat up..and even when he's um..busy with his right hand and a naughty magazine..he's doing it all for you.. (He did say everything)

6)Hit me baby one more time- Britney Spears
we'll gladly hit this chickie one more time..or maybe a dozen times..knock her out cold..For all you know, its probably singing this terrible song over and over that permanently twisted the poor kid's mind.

7)Aashiq Banaya Apne' Himesh Reshammiya
Loosely translated it means 'You made me a lover'. And we suppose Mr. Nasal Twang singing the same line over and over again(until the listener has lost the will to live) is the painful price you pay for love?

8)I just called to say I love you by Stevie Wonder
Good grief, this one reeks of so much sugary content that you're likely to get a toothache at the end of 3 minutes. Stevie baby..hang up..hang up now..else we'll put that telephone wire to good use..
as a noose...

9) Right here waiting by Richard Marx
Whatever you do..whereever you go.. I will be right here waiting for you..
What is this?
The anthem of the losers convention? Exactly how do you expect to woo her if all you're going to do is whine incessantly in one place? Honey, she's not coming back..trust us on this one.

10) 'Nothing gonna change my love for you.' by Glenn Medeiros
ARRRGGGHHHH...stop...please stop...here take all our money...and our watches too...jus STOP THAT NOW!

Ignorance is bliss...sometimes...

I'm in Goa with my cousins. Most of my older cousins have their exams going on so I'm stuck with the kiddies. Those who know me well will know that there are 2 sets of people I dont know how to handle at all- kids and old people. Im lost when it comes to conversing with them or baby talking. Give me a mad man and I probably wont freak out as much. But shove a baby in my face and I'll probably be confused, disoriented and wrong footed. When they're tiny fingers play with the frown lines on my forehead I wonder if I'm doing something wrong. Thier small noises which dont make any sense and the laughter that follows always makes me feel like I'm a practical joke that only they can understand. And when they cry...god..when they cry.
I run.
Far away.
That wailing is disturbing, espescially when you have no clue what they want.
Thankfully, my cousins are both seven year olds and much easier to handle. However, yesterday, one of them, Alroy, was getting difficult. I had played with him for three hours straight and he still didn't let me get back to my writing.
I really think my aunt fed him something yesterday, for him to get this high.
I plonked down stubbornly, removing my writing material. He caught my legs and started to whine.
"Please, play carrom with me."
I was still too busy with my papers so I said,"I dont feel the need to play carrom when I've played with you for 3 hours. Why dont you sit and contemplate on what you've learnt today?"
I saw his expression.
Okay,let's rephrase.
"Take a break."
He frowned and started pulling my tee.
"You're my best cousin so you have to play with me. I love you no!"
See what I mean by high?
Before I could tell him that his line of reasoning was silly, he stuck out his lower lip and started to make mewing noises, a mock imitation of the puppy dog face.
"Where did you learn that?"
"I saw you doing it to your dad. You got to go out."
I snorted. My own tactics used against me.
I sighed. Could'nt argue with this one. He clapped his hands loudly, jumping around on his toes.
"Allright you twerp. Stop your silly dance and lead the way."
He caught my hand and pulled, saying, "Finally, you don't want to be lonely all the time."
I froze.
"You mean alone, right?"
But he didnt hear me. Already too busy arranging the coins on the board.
I shrugged. English is a complicated language.
* * * *
In the evening, I had to deal with the other pesky one. Her name's Cerena. She comes up to me running, something in her hands.
"Put for me."
I looked at her confused.
"Put what?"
"Make up."
She thrust a box at my face. There were brushes of various sizes and tiny round compartments which had shiny stuff in them.
"You're too young for make up."
She put her hands on her hips and huffed, "You don't know how to put, that's why you're telling like that."
She walked away.
I looked up at the ceiling and prayed. But no, God wanted to laugh some more.
She came back.
"Let's go out."
Oh no. Not again.
"No Cerena, I need to write."
She pulled my tee. It was going to be ripped by the end of this day.
I freshened up putting on my sneakers, shorts and another loose tee.
I took my head phones, jamming them in my ear. It helps with my mum.
But this one was a handful.
She tugged at my headphones asking, "Do you have a boyfriend?"
How do kids know stuff like this? Too much bloody television.
"No, I dont."
"But you're old! What type of boy you want?"
"I haven't thought about it."
"Why not?"
Like it was the most normal thing in the world to do.
I decided to not answer and asked her instead, "What type of boy do you want?"
"He should look nice and give me lots of chocolates."
"Oh yes he will. If that gets you to shut up." I muttered.
We walked in silence for a while. I almost started to thank God for small mercies.
Too soon.
"Why do you walk like a boy?"
I blanched. She was watching me all this while.
My hands were stuck in my pockets and I fisted them. Anything to stop myself from tearing my hair out and giving her more ammunition.
"How should I walk?"
"Slowly. Put your hands on your stomach and walk."
She showed me. She meant waist.
I decided to amuse her. I put my hands on my waist and started to walk, exaggerating my sway. She giggled.
I turned to look back at her, flciking my hair back mockingly, batting my lashes and popping my leg up, "How's that?"
She laughed saying,"Boys will like like that."
I smirked and walked back to her, normally.
"Yeah, I know. Let's not make it easy for them now. Then they'll give you chocolates only in the night."
I fished out a mint from my pocket and gave it to her.
It really did shut her up.