What has always intrigued me is the behaviour of the two sexes. They react differently in the same situation, have very different ways of tackling problems and different lines of thought. To all the people who think both the sexes are the same and perfectly capable of doing the same thing efficiently for every single thing...it's not true. Feminism seems to have taken a whole new turn. Unfortunately, it bugs me so bad that I'm willing to face criticism on this very public site from every single chick i know, whose a feminist. From fighting for the right to equal wages and voting(which I approve of, mind you)we have gone to extremes where we think we are superior and can do everything far better than a man can. We demand more reserved seats, tennis women demand equal pay when they play 3 sets unlike the men who play 5, we have a woman's quota in some medical college and god knows what else! Let me be clear when I say I've always wanted equal rights for women. But they dont seem 'equal' anymore.We seem to be getting a lot more than necessary and we dont seem to have stopped asking. Unfortunately, due to all this, I have become an irrational women hater.I do not want a sex change so dont even suggest it.The reason for this atttitude started during my train rides. Women are just born annoying. I think. They 'claim' seats(still dont know why that system works and why new dunderheads spring up and follow it), nag you when you dont answer questions poking fun at your upbringing, do not help women entering the trains, in fact making it more difficult to enter, dumping half of their arses on the fourth seat and my leg, have poor judgement and sense of direction and behave like kids-all for that goddamn window seat!For all their caring and sensitive nature*rolls eyes*, it seems to fly out the window during the train journey. Men are far cooler in trains. Women have this annoyong habit of mothering you(I speak on behalf of my guy friends),giving you advice when you dont ask for it,calling to catch up on your life(mainly to get some new tidbit of gossip), hugging you even though you just met yesterday and their constant need for details.They seem to lack any sense of comprehension when you give them subtle but obvious hints and think you're rude if you're blunt with them.Apologising to a woman is by far, the worst. A man doesnt mind a simple sorry. The less hassled ones dont even mind if you start talking normally with them. They consider it forgotten. In fact, I find that men are slightly annoyed sometimes with the number of times a woman says sorry and their long drawn out apologies. I guess this is due to a habit developed because women do it to each other.She has to talk about what led her to do the thing she did,, what she did, what consequences it had,how it was all a misunderstanding, how she misinterpreted it and will never do it again..blah blah...Sometimes women do not realise that feminism is a curse. Women have taken on 2 jobs now instead of one. And they do it single handedly. They rationalize by saying they can multi task well. I'm sure men can do it too but they seem smarter to not even try and worry themselves unecessarily.Someone was right when they sent me a forward saying 'with women ruling the world, there wont be a war.We would just be stuck with jealous countries not talking to each other.'You can blame Eve for being curious like a woman always is, and eating the apple all you want but now you can blame the feminists for claiming to be superior and dumping additional work on us. Thankfully my non feminist mother has left me the option of choosing.
Finally.
I'll choose the less painful, therefore successfully evading Eve's curse.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Alleluia!
Disclaimer:These are my own thoughts. Hurting religious sentiments is not intended. Anything apart from character judgements is welcome.
My history is necessary for this post. I have a Roman Catholic mother and a Hindu father.My father didn't wish to baptize me for the simple reason that he wished to give me a choice. I have gone to church for as long as I can remember and Sunday school till fourth grade.I got sick of sunday school and quit, giving my mother the water tight reason of feeling left out because everyone I knew were preparing to receive the sacrament of communion. The real reason was simple: it made no sense.
Slowly, my transformation to the other extreme began. Being an aethist was easy and it went well with my naturally cynical way of looking at things. I scoffed at the ten commandments, how God would destroy a whole world of people and then regret it later(Noah's Ark), how God was so vengeful every single time someone did something wrong...Honestly, I thought God had some serious temper issues...
The rosay at home stopped. However the church going continued since I didnt want to upset my mother. Till then, karma seemed to make more sense than religion. What goes around comes around. Though I never believed in it but I never saw anything wrong with it either. However, a simple fact escaped me. The wrongs that I have done in my life far exceed the right. If I have to pay back for all of those things, I would definitely have the most miserable life possible.And I didnt seem to be having one.So karma was definitely out.
That led me to believe that I read the bible without a clear head. So I started to read the world's bestseller and most shoplifted book far more carefully.Today I think the Bible makes sense but the Catholic Church doesnt. All the things that I've been brainwashed into believing the first eleven years of my life came back and I realised it wasnt the Bible's fault. It was the Church, for twisting it or not explaining it well at all.
Baptizing few month old babies when Jesus himself was baptized at the age of 30 seems like forced conversion to me. Brainwashing kids into believing that you have to pray at a particular time during the day(because God is only gonna hear you then), not allowing nuns to say the mass(this coming from a non feminist)and listening to the same sermons every single year that are way too far fetched to even try.
Banning the Da Vinci Code book, saying that it goes against your faith, tells me how not confident they are about your faith and how it can be easily manipulated-because of a single book. The Church seems afraid of questions and people are so used to the routine that no one asks. Why cant you let people read and decide for themselves?
What infuriated me(though it may sound petty) was the sudden hate directed towards the Harry Potter books. It apparently propogates dark magic and gives you ideas about magic and how things can be achieved without the need of faith.Have they read the books? The books clearly put Dark(black) magic on the bad side and the only thing that could defeat it was love. In fact, Severus Snape who gets lured into the Dark Arts but leaves it to join the Order reminds me of the prodical son or Paul.
The books led to many kids finally taking up reading(including me) as a hobby-which was dying then..
The way the Chruch twists one of the beatitudes makes me nauseous.
'Happy are the poor for they are rich in spirit.'
And then the priests goes on to tell you how its allright to be poor. That God is always there to take care of you and atleast you'll get better rewards than the rich in heaven. That the rich do not get a good nights sleep because they're constantly worrying about money while the poor can sleep well because they've had a honest day's work and have nothing to worry about.
Plainly romanticizing poverty.
Dont swallow that vomit.
It's not okay to be poor. You dont need to be happy in that rut that you're living in. Work hard for more and there's damn well nothing wrong with wanting more. A rich man can do an honest day's work and still get sleep at night. And still get to heaven. You probably would be stupid for not trying and just waiting to die so God can handfeed you.
All of the seven deadly sins(gluttony,lust,greed,despair,wrath,pride,vanity,acedia) are natural human tendencies and you do tend to give in to them(some of them to me are allright as long as you arent hurting someone else). And when you do hurt someone and feel guilty about it and truly regret it, you can go ask for forgiveness(the whole point of Jesus dying for you-which nullifies the karma law-and therefore makes more sense).
"In the past the Church used to just kill everyone who posed the remotest threat to their empire..They cant do that anymore so they struggle to mantain some semblance of power and relevance with stunts like these." -Yash.
Hopefully, one day I will have the courage to raise my itching hand in the middle of mass, and ask him some of my questions.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Rads..
I've always come to goa for every vacation since my family is here. Sometimes i've had enough of the family and would prefer a vacation somewhere else. But I feel bad for my mother and grandmom and try to be as accommodating as possible but I do let my displeasure be made public when it comes to certain members of my family.(CMOF)
One of my cousins is constantly put down by CMOF because of her failings as a student. It will suffice to say that I loathe them. However this cousin is someone who is constantly in love. Probably the main reason for her failings. At first, I tried to make her understand that love at this point is never a sure thing but education is.But her blatant denial and immense belief in this feeling is daunting and one wonders where she gets her enthusiasm from. One would think she would give up on it since she's failed so many times. But it hasnt scarred her young heart. She ploughs on and tells me how it is the only thing that can make you feel the safest in this world. Being a hardcore cynic myself, I find it disbelieving.She's the one that I have to tell my sordid girl problems to, since she can worm and whine anything out of you. She gives me the most pathetic advice, always telling me to give the guy a chance..a second one..a third one. I dont take her advice from the start. But the way she pleads and begs me to stay in love is disturbing. She acts like its the only thing that can save me. Like its the only thing that's important. More than stability and safety. I have tried to make her see reason with regards to her choice in men but she always says love isnt selective. It doesnt happen only to people who are rich, educated and from good families, like our parents want us to get married to. Fat people are allowed to love. So are ugly, uneducated, deformed and the poor. I have no answer to the impossible things she says sometimes. Her positive attitude is irresponsible, irrational and sometimes, causes irritation. Espescially when she cant see through people. She smiles at people who put her down. She laughs when people make mean sarcastic jokes about her. Sometimes I think its a defence mechanism but she honestly believes that no one can possibly hate and despise her, not even wish bad for her. She shakes her head regretfully and apologises on my behalf if I get into a fight defending her. It makes me want to wring her neck.
She's the same age as me and I wonder sometimes how she will survive.Better than me, I sometimes think. With the way she's so trapped in her bubble. She just might be one of the few people i've loved completely and fully. When I feel hopeless, she might be the only one with her unique attitude to tell me the good points of my damned situation. Only she could find them. Only she could possibly make me hope because of her fervent and sincere belief in the situation.
I know I can never be like her and I probably never will. But there are few people like her on this planet. Few people who believe there is hope and love is still pure and fresh. That lies and deceit is impossible. That this world can still be saved. And it's probably for this reason that i will try to protect her as long as I can. Till the tidal wave comes and bursts her bubble. Till then, this world still has hope.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Learning it the hard way.
People's expectations can be daunting. People who are close to you brainwash you into thinking you need things when you're better off without it. when you dont reach what they think you're capable of, you get their looks and talks. It makes you think, "Are you worth of it?"
I've realised when people put you down, they really wanna make them selves feel good. Some people have walked in and out of my life this last year. Some have been bitter...some, good riddance, I say. Some have been great experiences and some forgettable. People who you've known for so long were not what they seemed to be anymore. You wonder where you went wrong. When treating you badly and taking you for granted had become okay for them. It's confusing and disorienting in the start. When they finally walk out, or you throw them out yourself, you realise they've been like this all the while. You just took it then. And now, you cant. Now, you're sick of it. Sometimes I wish I'd never met them in the first place. I wish I'd made it a point to ignore them. To never let them in.
But then I dont want to say the glass is half empty. These people have taught me the darker side of human nature. It's made me more cautious and pay attention to people better. I let everyone in now. But I decide who stays. I decide if I want to listen to them. I decide if they're worth it. I decide if I wanna give a shit. You are better than no one. But no one can make you feel lesser than anyone either.
Looking back, I don't cry about it being over. I smile because it happened. Or smirk, in some cases. When it comes to my career, I've stopped making plans. When it comes to guys, I've stopped making a checklist. Being bored is very rare now. I realised, in a rare moment of clarity, that no moment is ordinary. There is never nothing going on. Every single emotion- love, lust, hate, jealousy, hate is breakable.
Except obsession.
That is where we need to draw the line.
Sometimes things that people do are unforgivable. But one forgets that no one loves you completely. Atleast not more than themselves. One needs to accept. Accept that people can make mistakes. Not always to the extent that you have to forgive and forget always. Being a saint was never my thing. But dont let it fuck your happiness. And even if it does, let it do minimal damage. Enough to make you smarter and realise that people are never what they seem to be.
Sometimes one needs to forget about being wary. One needs to forget the outcome and result. One needs to stop thinking. Period.
Where are you?
Here.
What time is it?
Now.
What are you?
This moment.
I've realised when people put you down, they really wanna make them selves feel good. Some people have walked in and out of my life this last year. Some have been bitter...some, good riddance, I say. Some have been great experiences and some forgettable. People who you've known for so long were not what they seemed to be anymore. You wonder where you went wrong. When treating you badly and taking you for granted had become okay for them. It's confusing and disorienting in the start. When they finally walk out, or you throw them out yourself, you realise they've been like this all the while. You just took it then. And now, you cant. Now, you're sick of it. Sometimes I wish I'd never met them in the first place. I wish I'd made it a point to ignore them. To never let them in.
But then I dont want to say the glass is half empty. These people have taught me the darker side of human nature. It's made me more cautious and pay attention to people better. I let everyone in now. But I decide who stays. I decide if I want to listen to them. I decide if they're worth it. I decide if I wanna give a shit. You are better than no one. But no one can make you feel lesser than anyone either.
Looking back, I don't cry about it being over. I smile because it happened. Or smirk, in some cases. When it comes to my career, I've stopped making plans. When it comes to guys, I've stopped making a checklist. Being bored is very rare now. I realised, in a rare moment of clarity, that no moment is ordinary. There is never nothing going on. Every single emotion- love, lust, hate, jealousy, hate is breakable.
Except obsession.
That is where we need to draw the line.
Sometimes things that people do are unforgivable. But one forgets that no one loves you completely. Atleast not more than themselves. One needs to accept. Accept that people can make mistakes. Not always to the extent that you have to forgive and forget always. Being a saint was never my thing. But dont let it fuck your happiness. And even if it does, let it do minimal damage. Enough to make you smarter and realise that people are never what they seem to be.
Sometimes one needs to forget about being wary. One needs to forget the outcome and result. One needs to stop thinking. Period.
Where are you?
Here.
What time is it?
Now.
What are you?
This moment.
Monday, April 19, 2010
What do we want?
Do we like paying the bills?
Or is washing the dishes better?
Do we like being given the jacket when its chill?
Or prefer the rider's seat on the bike better?
Do we really like the babies?
Are we more comfortable in the boss's chair?
Is it fun behaving like a lady?
Or more fun shocking by shaving off all your hair?
Do we like a romantic dinner?
Or playing ball on the beach?
Is it fun getting any thinner?
Or do we prefer enjoying what we eat?
Do we really like the shopping?
Or do we prefer our old jeans?
Or is it just very comforting?
That appearances are the only thing they see
Do we like the usual 'I love you'?
Or a frantic kiss in the middle of the argument?
Do you force him to make a choice-them or you?
Or let him cool by staying silent?
Do we like cleaning up after him?
Or are we comfortable with the mess?
Do we always think he needs a trim?
Or are his long tresses, tickling you, the best?
Do we like talking about our day?
Or only talk when asked about it?
Do we like always having our way?
Or love a man who doesnt take our shit?
Do we like them poor but rich in spirit?
Or being pampered because you're worth it?
Do we like them muscular and fit?
Or the lean and smooth who can do a flip?
Do we like the good boys watch romcoms?
Or the ones that talk dirty, always surrounded by a mob?
Do we like it when they dedicate a song?
Or laugh with you at couples who,in public, snog?
Do we like to gossip and let out secrets?
Do we prefer writing it in our diaries?
Do we like playing hard to get and being mysterious?
What do we want?...We know, very rarely....
Or is washing the dishes better?
Do we like being given the jacket when its chill?
Or prefer the rider's seat on the bike better?
Do we really like the babies?
Are we more comfortable in the boss's chair?
Is it fun behaving like a lady?
Or more fun shocking by shaving off all your hair?
Do we like a romantic dinner?
Or playing ball on the beach?
Is it fun getting any thinner?
Or do we prefer enjoying what we eat?
Do we really like the shopping?
Or do we prefer our old jeans?
Or is it just very comforting?
That appearances are the only thing they see
Do we like the usual 'I love you'?
Or a frantic kiss in the middle of the argument?
Do you force him to make a choice-them or you?
Or let him cool by staying silent?
Do we like cleaning up after him?
Or are we comfortable with the mess?
Do we always think he needs a trim?
Or are his long tresses, tickling you, the best?
Do we like talking about our day?
Or only talk when asked about it?
Do we like always having our way?
Or love a man who doesnt take our shit?
Do we like them poor but rich in spirit?
Or being pampered because you're worth it?
Do we like them muscular and fit?
Or the lean and smooth who can do a flip?
Do we like the good boys watch romcoms?
Or the ones that talk dirty, always surrounded by a mob?
Do we like it when they dedicate a song?
Or laugh with you at couples who,in public, snog?
Do we like to gossip and let out secrets?
Do we prefer writing it in our diaries?
Do we like playing hard to get and being mysterious?
What do we want?...We know, very rarely....
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Love songs we love to hate..
Chickas and predictable non original men..change your tastes...read this somewhere..kinda mirrors what i feel..
1) My heart will go on-Celine Dion
Why oh why didnt someone push this shrieking banshee off the sinking ship before she opened her mouth and cranked up this tortorous number? 'My heart will go on...' What does that even mean? Does her heart want to burst out of her chest and go forth and scream hysterically as it runs far away from her voice? We think so.
2) "ILU ILU' movie: Saudagar
It's the only song that makes 'I love you' sound offensive and downright obscene and the song writers knew that. Why else would they keep stressing 'ILU ka matlab I love you I love you?' Get it?
Now get your mind out of the gutter.
3)'Love me for a reason.' by Boyzone
Okay, you stupid boy band. Who wrote this? Was it written on a napkin?In crayons? By a FOUR YEAR OLD? 'Love me for a reason..let the reason be love..' Its ironical that the line has the word 'reason' mentioned in it twice..yet the concept is completely lost.
4) 'How am I supposed to live without you?' Michael Bolton
For a while this crooner distracted us with the dead cat sprawled across his head. But after he cut his hair, we just realised how much his music sucks. As far as this song goes, good God, pull yourself together..get a backbone..some song writing skills would be nice too.
5)'Everything I do' Bryan Adams
This is the mother of all bad love songs. This syrupy song was an enormous hit and made women everywhere swoon. But doesnt anyone get what Bryan is trying to say? When he picks his nose..when he leaves the toilet seat up..and even when he's um..busy with his right hand and a naughty magazine..he's doing it all for you.. (He did say everything)
6)Hit me baby one more time- Britney Spears
we'll gladly hit this chickie one more time..or maybe a dozen times..knock her out cold..For all you know, its probably singing this terrible song over and over that permanently twisted the poor kid's mind.
7)Aashiq Banaya Apne' Himesh Reshammiya
Loosely translated it means 'You made me a lover'. And we suppose Mr. Nasal Twang singing the same line over and over again(until the listener has lost the will to live) is the painful price you pay for love?
8)I just called to say I love you by Stevie Wonder
Good grief, this one reeks of so much sugary content that you're likely to get a toothache at the end of 3 minutes. Stevie baby..hang up..hang up now..else we'll put that telephone wire to good use..
as a noose...
9) Right here waiting by Richard Marx
Whatever you do..whereever you go.. I will be right here waiting for you..
What is this?
The anthem of the losers convention? Exactly how do you expect to woo her if all you're going to do is whine incessantly in one place? Honey, she's not coming back..trust us on this one.
10) 'Nothing gonna change my love for you.' by Glenn Medeiros
ARRRGGGHHHH...stop...please stop...here take all our money...and our watches too...jus STOP THAT NOW!
1) My heart will go on-Celine Dion
Why oh why didnt someone push this shrieking banshee off the sinking ship before she opened her mouth and cranked up this tortorous number? 'My heart will go on...' What does that even mean? Does her heart want to burst out of her chest and go forth and scream hysterically as it runs far away from her voice? We think so.
2) "ILU ILU' movie: Saudagar
It's the only song that makes 'I love you' sound offensive and downright obscene and the song writers knew that. Why else would they keep stressing 'ILU ka matlab I love you I love you?' Get it?
Now get your mind out of the gutter.
3)'Love me for a reason.' by Boyzone
Okay, you stupid boy band. Who wrote this? Was it written on a napkin?In crayons? By a FOUR YEAR OLD? 'Love me for a reason..let the reason be love..' Its ironical that the line has the word 'reason' mentioned in it twice..yet the concept is completely lost.
4) 'How am I supposed to live without you?' Michael Bolton
For a while this crooner distracted us with the dead cat sprawled across his head. But after he cut his hair, we just realised how much his music sucks. As far as this song goes, good God, pull yourself together..get a backbone..some song writing skills would be nice too.
5)'Everything I do' Bryan Adams
This is the mother of all bad love songs. This syrupy song was an enormous hit and made women everywhere swoon. But doesnt anyone get what Bryan is trying to say? When he picks his nose..when he leaves the toilet seat up..and even when he's um..busy with his right hand and a naughty magazine..he's doing it all for you.. (He did say everything)
6)Hit me baby one more time- Britney Spears
we'll gladly hit this chickie one more time..or maybe a dozen times..knock her out cold..For all you know, its probably singing this terrible song over and over that permanently twisted the poor kid's mind.
7)Aashiq Banaya Apne' Himesh Reshammiya
Loosely translated it means 'You made me a lover'. And we suppose Mr. Nasal Twang singing the same line over and over again(until the listener has lost the will to live) is the painful price you pay for love?
8)I just called to say I love you by Stevie Wonder
Good grief, this one reeks of so much sugary content that you're likely to get a toothache at the end of 3 minutes. Stevie baby..hang up..hang up now..else we'll put that telephone wire to good use..
as a noose...
9) Right here waiting by Richard Marx
Whatever you do..whereever you go.. I will be right here waiting for you..
What is this?
The anthem of the losers convention? Exactly how do you expect to woo her if all you're going to do is whine incessantly in one place? Honey, she's not coming back..trust us on this one.
10) 'Nothing gonna change my love for you.' by Glenn Medeiros
ARRRGGGHHHH...stop...please stop...here take all our money...and our watches too...jus STOP THAT NOW!
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Ignorance is bliss...sometimes...
I'm in Goa with my cousins. Most of my older cousins have their exams going on so I'm stuck with the kiddies. Those who know me well will know that there are 2 sets of people I dont know how to handle at all- kids and old people. Im lost when it comes to conversing with them or baby talking. Give me a mad man and I probably wont freak out as much. But shove a baby in my face and I'll probably be confused, disoriented and wrong footed. When they're tiny fingers play with the frown lines on my forehead I wonder if I'm doing something wrong. Thier small noises which dont make any sense and the laughter that follows always makes me feel like I'm a practical joke that only they can understand. And when they cry...god..when they cry.
I run.
Far away.
That wailing is disturbing, espescially when you have no clue what they want.
Thankfully, my cousins are both seven year olds and much easier to handle. However, yesterday, one of them, Alroy, was getting difficult. I had played with him for three hours straight and he still didn't let me get back to my writing.
I really think my aunt fed him something yesterday, for him to get this high.
I plonked down stubbornly, removing my writing material. He caught my legs and started to whine.
"Please, play carrom with me."
I was still too busy with my papers so I said,"I dont feel the need to play carrom when I've played with you for 3 hours. Why dont you sit and contemplate on what you've learnt today?"
I saw his expression.
Okay,let's rephrase.
"Take a break."
He frowned and started pulling my tee.
"You're my best cousin so you have to play with me. I love you no!"
See what I mean by high?
Before I could tell him that his line of reasoning was silly, he stuck out his lower lip and started to make mewing noises, a mock imitation of the puppy dog face.
"Where did you learn that?"
"I saw you doing it to your dad. You got to go out."
I snorted. My own tactics used against me.
I sighed. Could'nt argue with this one. He clapped his hands loudly, jumping around on his toes.
"Allright you twerp. Stop your silly dance and lead the way."
He caught my hand and pulled, saying, "Finally, you don't want to be lonely all the time."
I froze.
"You mean alone, right?"
But he didnt hear me. Already too busy arranging the coins on the board.
I shrugged. English is a complicated language.
* * * *
In the evening, I had to deal with the other pesky one. Her name's Cerena. She comes up to me running, something in her hands.
"Put for me."
I looked at her confused.
"Put what?"
"Make up."
She thrust a box at my face. There were brushes of various sizes and tiny round compartments which had shiny stuff in them.
"You're too young for make up."
She put her hands on her hips and huffed, "You don't know how to put, that's why you're telling like that."
She walked away.
I looked up at the ceiling and prayed. But no, God wanted to laugh some more.
She came back.
"Let's go out."
Oh no. Not again.
"No Cerena, I need to write."
She pulled my tee. It was going to be ripped by the end of this day.
I freshened up putting on my sneakers, shorts and another loose tee.
I took my head phones, jamming them in my ear. It helps with my mum.
But this one was a handful.
She tugged at my headphones asking, "Do you have a boyfriend?"
How do kids know stuff like this? Too much bloody television.
"No, I dont."
"But you're old! What type of boy you want?"
"I haven't thought about it."
"Why not?"
Like it was the most normal thing in the world to do.
I decided to not answer and asked her instead, "What type of boy do you want?"
"He should look nice and give me lots of chocolates."
"Oh yes he will. If that gets you to shut up." I muttered.
We walked in silence for a while. I almost started to thank God for small mercies.
Too soon.
"Why do you walk like a boy?"
I blanched. She was watching me all this while.
My hands were stuck in my pockets and I fisted them. Anything to stop myself from tearing my hair out and giving her more ammunition.
"How should I walk?"
"Slowly. Put your hands on your stomach and walk."
She showed me. She meant waist.
I decided to amuse her. I put my hands on my waist and started to walk, exaggerating my sway. She giggled.
I turned to look back at her, flciking my hair back mockingly, batting my lashes and popping my leg up, "How's that?"
She laughed saying,"Boys will like like that."
I smirked and walked back to her, normally.
"Yeah, I know. Let's not make it easy for them now. Then they'll give you chocolates only in the night."
I fished out a mint from my pocket and gave it to her.
It really did shut her up.
I run.
Far away.
That wailing is disturbing, espescially when you have no clue what they want.
Thankfully, my cousins are both seven year olds and much easier to handle. However, yesterday, one of them, Alroy, was getting difficult. I had played with him for three hours straight and he still didn't let me get back to my writing.
I really think my aunt fed him something yesterday, for him to get this high.
I plonked down stubbornly, removing my writing material. He caught my legs and started to whine.
"Please, play carrom with me."
I was still too busy with my papers so I said,"I dont feel the need to play carrom when I've played with you for 3 hours. Why dont you sit and contemplate on what you've learnt today?"
I saw his expression.
Okay,let's rephrase.
"Take a break."
He frowned and started pulling my tee.
"You're my best cousin so you have to play with me. I love you no!"
See what I mean by high?
Before I could tell him that his line of reasoning was silly, he stuck out his lower lip and started to make mewing noises, a mock imitation of the puppy dog face.
"Where did you learn that?"
"I saw you doing it to your dad. You got to go out."
I snorted. My own tactics used against me.
I sighed. Could'nt argue with this one. He clapped his hands loudly, jumping around on his toes.
"Allright you twerp. Stop your silly dance and lead the way."
He caught my hand and pulled, saying, "Finally, you don't want to be lonely all the time."
I froze.
"You mean alone, right?"
But he didnt hear me. Already too busy arranging the coins on the board.
I shrugged. English is a complicated language.
* * * *
In the evening, I had to deal with the other pesky one. Her name's Cerena. She comes up to me running, something in her hands.
"Put for me."
I looked at her confused.
"Put what?"
"Make up."
She thrust a box at my face. There were brushes of various sizes and tiny round compartments which had shiny stuff in them.
"You're too young for make up."
She put her hands on her hips and huffed, "You don't know how to put, that's why you're telling like that."
She walked away.
I looked up at the ceiling and prayed. But no, God wanted to laugh some more.
She came back.
"Let's go out."
Oh no. Not again.
"No Cerena, I need to write."
She pulled my tee. It was going to be ripped by the end of this day.
I freshened up putting on my sneakers, shorts and another loose tee.
I took my head phones, jamming them in my ear. It helps with my mum.
But this one was a handful.
She tugged at my headphones asking, "Do you have a boyfriend?"
How do kids know stuff like this? Too much bloody television.
"No, I dont."
"But you're old! What type of boy you want?"
"I haven't thought about it."
"Why not?"
Like it was the most normal thing in the world to do.
I decided to not answer and asked her instead, "What type of boy do you want?"
"He should look nice and give me lots of chocolates."
"Oh yes he will. If that gets you to shut up." I muttered.
We walked in silence for a while. I almost started to thank God for small mercies.
Too soon.
"Why do you walk like a boy?"
I blanched. She was watching me all this while.
My hands were stuck in my pockets and I fisted them. Anything to stop myself from tearing my hair out and giving her more ammunition.
"How should I walk?"
"Slowly. Put your hands on your stomach and walk."
She showed me. She meant waist.
I decided to amuse her. I put my hands on my waist and started to walk, exaggerating my sway. She giggled.
I turned to look back at her, flciking my hair back mockingly, batting my lashes and popping my leg up, "How's that?"
She laughed saying,"Boys will like like that."
I smirked and walked back to her, normally.
"Yeah, I know. Let's not make it easy for them now. Then they'll give you chocolates only in the night."
I fished out a mint from my pocket and gave it to her.
It really did shut her up.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Top 10 Things That Annoy Me The Most!
1)When you need to go somewhere really fast and God suddenly decides to pick on you like you're his private joke by making the traffic seem worse or the train halting far too many times when its not a station. I really wanna smack something then. God forbid, I dont give in to that urge some day.
2)When someone bumps into you cause they're about to miss the 6:52 train when there is a 6:56 train to the same place. But noooo, they're boss would kill and shred them to pieces if they are 4 minutes late! So hey, lets screw everyone on the way, shall we?
3)When you are arguing about something and the person brings out something you did ages ago. Hello?! We already discussed that, it has no relevance to this argument and just because I was wrong the last time doesnt mean its permanent the whole freaking time!
4) When I compliment someone and they act boringly modest and say "Really? I dont think so." The'yre expecting me to reaffirm the compliment and feel better about themselves so I just say, "You know what? You're right. I think I was wrong the first time."
5)When women (FAT women!) barge into the fourth seat in the train and half their legs rest on you, making everyone on the entire seat uncomfortable. I just get up and stand next to her. Most of the time they apologise and get up but the others just look guilty and dont know what to do. Probably the latter one is far much more satisfying.
6)When women tap you as they enter asking you where you're getting off(they dont care what you're doing-sleeping, listening to music, talking on the phone) and they reserve it, practically breathing down your neck till you get up. God forbid if someone else takes your place after you get up for you will be dragged into the arguement too.
7)When people constantly crack really sad jokes and expect you to laugh at them. Trust me, I dont even try.
8)When youre trying to concentrate while you're doing a million things online and a friend you hardly talk to beeps you on fb chat.
"Hey."
You think its important so you type hurriedly.
"Yea, what happened?"
"I just wanted to say hi.!"
AARRRGHHH!
9)When you're asked innumerable questions about your life that you dont wanna answer and they aint getting the hint even though you're giving them monosyllabic answers.
10) When you get something for someone(in this case, mom), come back and she realises she forgets something else.Then you go back again.
And again.
And again.
Trust me, I had to do this 5 times continuously. Its pretty harrowing!
2)When someone bumps into you cause they're about to miss the 6:52 train when there is a 6:56 train to the same place. But noooo, they're boss would kill and shred them to pieces if they are 4 minutes late! So hey, lets screw everyone on the way, shall we?
3)When you are arguing about something and the person brings out something you did ages ago. Hello?! We already discussed that, it has no relevance to this argument and just because I was wrong the last time doesnt mean its permanent the whole freaking time!
4) When I compliment someone and they act boringly modest and say "Really? I dont think so." The'yre expecting me to reaffirm the compliment and feel better about themselves so I just say, "You know what? You're right. I think I was wrong the first time."
5)When women (FAT women!) barge into the fourth seat in the train and half their legs rest on you, making everyone on the entire seat uncomfortable. I just get up and stand next to her. Most of the time they apologise and get up but the others just look guilty and dont know what to do. Probably the latter one is far much more satisfying.
6)When women tap you as they enter asking you where you're getting off(they dont care what you're doing-sleeping, listening to music, talking on the phone) and they reserve it, practically breathing down your neck till you get up. God forbid if someone else takes your place after you get up for you will be dragged into the arguement too.
7)When people constantly crack really sad jokes and expect you to laugh at them. Trust me, I dont even try.
8)When youre trying to concentrate while you're doing a million things online and a friend you hardly talk to beeps you on fb chat.
"Hey."
You think its important so you type hurriedly.
"Yea, what happened?"
"I just wanted to say hi.!"
AARRRGHHH!
9)When you're asked innumerable questions about your life that you dont wanna answer and they aint getting the hint even though you're giving them monosyllabic answers.
10) When you get something for someone(in this case, mom), come back and she realises she forgets something else.Then you go back again.
And again.
And again.
Trust me, I had to do this 5 times continuously. Its pretty harrowing!
Friday, April 9, 2010
The Moon and 26 Pence.
An article I read by a guy called Ali. Very interesting. Just thought I would type it down.
If man were to live by bread alone, he would have a very tough time indeed. Im not saying that because bread does not contain all the nutrients the human body requires functions normally. Im saying it because a loaf of bread costs around Rs.18 today. That's a helluva lot considering we used to pay barely Rs. 5-6 about a decade ago. And man does not live by bread alone.
And therein lies the problem.
For years, inflation was a term I only used to come acroos in the papers. It was not something I understood well and certainly not something I lost sleep over. Today, I still dont know much about the theory of inflation but im getting a crash course in the practicals. I bought a litre of sunflower oil in March for Rs. 70, which in itself seemed a lot. Barely three months later I was paying Rs. 106 for the blasted thing! Inflation had made a very rude entry into my life- it was no longer something on the newspaper. It is something I deal with on a daily basis. And it is hitting me where it hurts-my wallet.
Wether its a onions, or potatoes, the story is the same. And if I, a man who just about manages to stay above the poverty line, is suffering so how are those below the line faring? Not very well, Im afraid.
According to a report filed the Arjun Sengupta, which was formed to study the working and living conditions of workers in the unorganised sector, about 836 million people (77% of India's population) subsist on Rs 20 a day each(about 26 UK pence) or less. As to how people can survive on such a paltry amount, I have no clue. But that apparently is the case.
And before you go thinking the panel got the numbers wrong. Here's more evidence on the state of the nation. Confirming the Sengupta Survey Org. report on household expenditure in India 2006-2007, reports that the average indian spends Rs 440 or less in a month on food.
What is disturbing is that none of these statistics have aroused any interest in the media. All they're concerned about is wether India continues to record 7%-plus economic growth. A friend of mine says growth would see money trickle down to the most needy. That's a load of hogwash if u ask me. In 1991 when the industrial reforms began, India was ranked 123rd on the UN's Human Development index. Today, it proudly occupies 128th place.
For those who're dismayed, here's something we top the rest of the world- about 665 million Indians defecate in the open(a WHO and UNICEF finding). Indonesia is a distant second with 66 million.
Last issue, I had written about the utter waste that is Chandrayaan-1. The country had to shell out Rs 386 crore on a mission thats sending us black and white photographs of the moon. In my opinion, black and white lunar images are unlikely to help those wallowing in poverty- nor, for that matter will colour ones. Still, the fact that we've got a satellite gallivanting up there shows there are brilliant minds in this country, in ISRO and outside it. We need to put those minds to good use nad make this country a better place for everybody, politicians willing.
But are they willing?
In the upcoming elections, I'll have to either vote for an alliance that has helplessly watched inflation and terror rise, or for another front that seems to believe fomenting divisions in society is the best way to power. Talk about being stuck betweeen a rock and a hard place. The prospect getting an inedible mark on my index finger after enduring a long wait to only vote in a cretin simply doesnt appeal to me. Perhaps, Ill be better off staying at home.
As for the poor, Im not sure whats in store for them. I only hope the powers that be brush up on their history and refrain from adopting a 'let them eat cake' attitudes. If this is the case, its highly unlikely heads will roll. India has far too many internal divisions to see a popular uprising. But the multitude may simply have no choice but to wait for someone to come along and multiply loaves of bread and fish.
If man were to live by bread alone, he would have a very tough time indeed. Im not saying that because bread does not contain all the nutrients the human body requires functions normally. Im saying it because a loaf of bread costs around Rs.18 today. That's a helluva lot considering we used to pay barely Rs. 5-6 about a decade ago. And man does not live by bread alone.
And therein lies the problem.
For years, inflation was a term I only used to come acroos in the papers. It was not something I understood well and certainly not something I lost sleep over. Today, I still dont know much about the theory of inflation but im getting a crash course in the practicals. I bought a litre of sunflower oil in March for Rs. 70, which in itself seemed a lot. Barely three months later I was paying Rs. 106 for the blasted thing! Inflation had made a very rude entry into my life- it was no longer something on the newspaper. It is something I deal with on a daily basis. And it is hitting me where it hurts-my wallet.
Wether its a onions, or potatoes, the story is the same. And if I, a man who just about manages to stay above the poverty line, is suffering so how are those below the line faring? Not very well, Im afraid.
According to a report filed the Arjun Sengupta, which was formed to study the working and living conditions of workers in the unorganised sector, about 836 million people (77% of India's population) subsist on Rs 20 a day each(about 26 UK pence) or less. As to how people can survive on such a paltry amount, I have no clue. But that apparently is the case.
And before you go thinking the panel got the numbers wrong. Here's more evidence on the state of the nation. Confirming the Sengupta Survey Org. report on household expenditure in India 2006-2007, reports that the average indian spends Rs 440 or less in a month on food.
What is disturbing is that none of these statistics have aroused any interest in the media. All they're concerned about is wether India continues to record 7%-plus economic growth. A friend of mine says growth would see money trickle down to the most needy. That's a load of hogwash if u ask me. In 1991 when the industrial reforms began, India was ranked 123rd on the UN's Human Development index. Today, it proudly occupies 128th place.
For those who're dismayed, here's something we top the rest of the world- about 665 million Indians defecate in the open(a WHO and UNICEF finding). Indonesia is a distant second with 66 million.
Last issue, I had written about the utter waste that is Chandrayaan-1. The country had to shell out Rs 386 crore on a mission thats sending us black and white photographs of the moon. In my opinion, black and white lunar images are unlikely to help those wallowing in poverty- nor, for that matter will colour ones. Still, the fact that we've got a satellite gallivanting up there shows there are brilliant minds in this country, in ISRO and outside it. We need to put those minds to good use nad make this country a better place for everybody, politicians willing.
But are they willing?
In the upcoming elections, I'll have to either vote for an alliance that has helplessly watched inflation and terror rise, or for another front that seems to believe fomenting divisions in society is the best way to power. Talk about being stuck betweeen a rock and a hard place. The prospect getting an inedible mark on my index finger after enduring a long wait to only vote in a cretin simply doesnt appeal to me. Perhaps, Ill be better off staying at home.
As for the poor, Im not sure whats in store for them. I only hope the powers that be brush up on their history and refrain from adopting a 'let them eat cake' attitudes. If this is the case, its highly unlikely heads will roll. India has far too many internal divisions to see a popular uprising. But the multitude may simply have no choice but to wait for someone to come along and multiply loaves of bread and fish.
What we Say, What we Mean..
Men
1) "If you dont want to, you dont have to."
I am hoping showing you respect will change your mind.
2)"You look good."
This means different things depending on which stage of the relationship you are in.
(a) If you've just begun dating:You look hot. My friends are going to be so jealous.
(b)Steady relationship: Thank God! I'm so glad you're wearing an outfit that wont attract creeps.
3)"Let's go someplace else."
I just saw someone who knows me and I dont want them to see me with you. The red flag should go up if he never wants to hang out where he lives.
4)"Let's meet up with my friends."
THis could go both ways. Either this date is boring or I really like you and want to see what my friends think.
5)"There's a match tonight."(in casual conversation)
You can come if you promise to sit quitely, otherwise dont even think of making plans for us tonight.
6)"Let's end it before one of us gets work."
I am cheating/about to cheat on you.
7)"You deserve someone better."
Two timing you is getting too stressful. Let's end this now.
8)"Let me drop you home."
Let me score some points in the chivalry department and move towards 'having coffee' at your place.
9)"This party is boring. Let's go someplace interesting."
Let's go to a place where I can cosy up and possibly kiss you.
10)"Have you done something to your hair?"
You look a bit different but I'm not sure why. I'm just taking a guess here to be safe.
11)"Let's hang out with your friends."
I want to see if you know any hot girls.
12)"I feel like having(insert a food name here)"
Get up and make that for me.
13)"I'm bored, let's do something."
Plan a date without my input, or lets have sex.
14)"Are you sure you're going to be okay?"
Please, please let me off the hook.
15)"I've never said this to anyone."
I'm hoping this show of vulnerability gets me into your pants.
16)"She's the kind of girl boys like."
She's a tease and we know it but we're hoping one of us strikes lucky with her.
17)"Hmmm"
Interpret it the way you want. I dont think this requires me taking time off my cricket match/office phone call.
Women
1)"Do what you want."
We've been together long enough for you to know what i want. Why are you still asking me?(Sometimes this is also an open challenge. "Go ahead, I dare you to do that and see what happens.")
2)"We need to talk."
You need to sit and listen while I list all the things you've done wrong.
3)"I really dont want to talk right now."
As soon as I hang up, you better call back and prise it out of me.
4)"I am putting up with you because of the children."
I have no money and cant go back to my parents.
5)""Wow!Isnt this great?Doesnt it look good on me?"
Buy it for me. You'll be rewarded.
6)"Im hanging out with my mother this weekend"
I dont want to serve family time alone. I'm waiting for you to volunteer to do this with me.
7)"I can do this myself."
No, I cant. Help me!
8)"Can we meet tonight after you've finished work?"
I know you're busy but i want you to choose work over me.
9)"I'll have to see what im doing."
I have no plans in the forseeable future but dont want to seem easy.
10)"Do you like dogs/romcoms/treks/thai food?"
I like it and if you dont you better develop a liking if you want this to go on.
11)"We should talk about it."
Why cant you just say what I know you're thinking and give me a chance to rationalise it and prove you're wrong?
12)"Why are you so quite?"/"What are you thinking?"
Out with the real story on where you went last night under the pretext of 'watching IPL with friends'.Conversely it may also mean 'say something romantic.'
13)"You remember my friend XYZ? She just got engaged/married/preganant."
It is time I do.
14)"Isnt she hot?"
Say I look hotter.
15)"Let me go, I'm late."
Dont stop what you're doing. It feels good.
16) "Im bored. Let's do something."
Plan a multiple destination date without my input.
17)"You dont understand."
Sit down and listen to me talk in minute detail about my feelings and sympathise periodically.
18)"I want to connect emotionally."
I dont think we should be having sex yet.
19)"what do you think?"
Im only making it seem that your opinion matters. It doesnt.
P.S. Do not know how true this is. Saw it in the mumbai mirror. Just thought I'd put it down.
1) "If you dont want to, you dont have to."
I am hoping showing you respect will change your mind.
2)"You look good."
This means different things depending on which stage of the relationship you are in.
(a) If you've just begun dating:You look hot. My friends are going to be so jealous.
(b)Steady relationship: Thank God! I'm so glad you're wearing an outfit that wont attract creeps.
3)"Let's go someplace else."
I just saw someone who knows me and I dont want them to see me with you. The red flag should go up if he never wants to hang out where he lives.
4)"Let's meet up with my friends."
THis could go both ways. Either this date is boring or I really like you and want to see what my friends think.
5)"There's a match tonight."(in casual conversation)
You can come if you promise to sit quitely, otherwise dont even think of making plans for us tonight.
6)"Let's end it before one of us gets work."
I am cheating/about to cheat on you.
7)"You deserve someone better."
Two timing you is getting too stressful. Let's end this now.
8)"Let me drop you home."
Let me score some points in the chivalry department and move towards 'having coffee' at your place.
9)"This party is boring. Let's go someplace interesting."
Let's go to a place where I can cosy up and possibly kiss you.
10)"Have you done something to your hair?"
You look a bit different but I'm not sure why. I'm just taking a guess here to be safe.
11)"Let's hang out with your friends."
I want to see if you know any hot girls.
12)"I feel like having(insert a food name here)"
Get up and make that for me.
13)"I'm bored, let's do something."
Plan a date without my input, or lets have sex.
14)"Are you sure you're going to be okay?"
Please, please let me off the hook.
15)"I've never said this to anyone."
I'm hoping this show of vulnerability gets me into your pants.
16)"She's the kind of girl boys like."
She's a tease and we know it but we're hoping one of us strikes lucky with her.
17)"Hmmm"
Interpret it the way you want. I dont think this requires me taking time off my cricket match/office phone call.
Women
1)"Do what you want."
We've been together long enough for you to know what i want. Why are you still asking me?(Sometimes this is also an open challenge. "Go ahead, I dare you to do that and see what happens.")
2)"We need to talk."
You need to sit and listen while I list all the things you've done wrong.
3)"I really dont want to talk right now."
As soon as I hang up, you better call back and prise it out of me.
4)"I am putting up with you because of the children."
I have no money and cant go back to my parents.
5)""Wow!Isnt this great?Doesnt it look good on me?"
Buy it for me. You'll be rewarded.
6)"Im hanging out with my mother this weekend"
I dont want to serve family time alone. I'm waiting for you to volunteer to do this with me.
7)"I can do this myself."
No, I cant. Help me!
8)"Can we meet tonight after you've finished work?"
I know you're busy but i want you to choose work over me.
9)"I'll have to see what im doing."
I have no plans in the forseeable future but dont want to seem easy.
10)"Do you like dogs/romcoms/treks/thai food?"
I like it and if you dont you better develop a liking if you want this to go on.
11)"We should talk about it."
Why cant you just say what I know you're thinking and give me a chance to rationalise it and prove you're wrong?
12)"Why are you so quite?"/"What are you thinking?"
Out with the real story on where you went last night under the pretext of 'watching IPL with friends'.Conversely it may also mean 'say something romantic.'
13)"You remember my friend XYZ? She just got engaged/married/preganant."
It is time I do.
14)"Isnt she hot?"
Say I look hotter.
15)"Let me go, I'm late."
Dont stop what you're doing. It feels good.
16) "Im bored. Let's do something."
Plan a multiple destination date without my input.
17)"You dont understand."
Sit down and listen to me talk in minute detail about my feelings and sympathise periodically.
18)"I want to connect emotionally."
I dont think we should be having sex yet.
19)"what do you think?"
Im only making it seem that your opinion matters. It doesnt.
P.S. Do not know how true this is. Saw it in the mumbai mirror. Just thought I'd put it down.
Twilighters!
Disclaimer: Before I begin this I would like you'll to know that I will not tolerate any hate mail. I am open to criticism and I think everyone's point of view is important. But no character bashing please. And girls, cmon, twilight happened a long time back now. It's old news. Get a fresh view. Get over it.
Yes, I know every single girl has probably read this series. And so have I. So you can stop right there if my lack of knowledge has got anything to do with your silly comments. Some liked the books better, some liked the movies. Personally, I didnt like the books. But I thought the movies were well done. What I mean by 'the movie well done' is that the they didnt cut off a lotta parts, which is what normally happens to a lot of books that become movies and the casting was done well. But the biggest thing that every Twilighter is at loggerheads about is-
Edward or Jacob?
The first thing that everybody does is list the good qualities about them and decide which one is better. What girls dont understand that they are both different people and a girl would go for someone which has the highest points on her checklist.
Edward is a vampire, very romantic, protective, goodlooking and says all the right and mushy things that every woman wants to hear her man say("Take care of my heart..ive left it with you" practically made every girl go awww).
Jacob is funny, always happy, fooling around, a great mechanic and is every girl's personal sunshine.And obviously a wearwolf. He never takes things seriously and takes life as it comes.
Of course, they are stark contrasts. Edward's very intense and Jacob-loose and easy. They are the 2 different types of men that appeal to women. Of course, lets not categorise though. Men are far more diverse and complex. But I'm just talking about the characters here.
Even if i hadnt read the books and you told me both their characteristics- I would take Jacob.
However, instead of arguing whose better, lets see it from Bella's perspective?
How did she weigh the pros and cons?
Was she really in love with both of them?
Throughout the first book, if one is not a mushy person or gullible, you would be tired of reading her endless descriptions of Edward. I dont even want to count the number of times the word 'perfect' was used everytime his character arrived. The description was in the same vein but with just different vocabulary. At one point you wanna go "OK! I get it..He's absofreakinglutely beautiful and you are sexually deprieved."
Edward is also filthy rich, unlike Jacob. I really do not think she loved Jacob. Since all the books were (mostly) from her perspective it made you realise that she only described Jacob in slightly more detail when he had his growth spurt and his hair was cut. Hardly anything for a girl to swoon over.
Bella was also very keen on becoming a vampire.
Why?
Puh-lease, dont give me that shit about being in love. And that true love is when you give up everything for that someone.
Let me burst that tiny bubble you'll are living in and tell you to look past what the writer is trying to grill into your tiny conforming heads.
Vampire pros and cons.
You have to kill and drink blood and you loose your heart.
But instead, you get- 'immortality', 'eternal beauty' and 'inhuman strength' AND 'hot rich boyfriend'.
Wearwolf pros and cons.
With wearwolf Jacob you get, 'to be normal' and 'age and die'.
Ooo! Such a difficult decision!
Bah!
I look back at those books and question myself
Who would i have chosen?
Jacob.
Why?
Well, I have a number of reasons.
-Edward always spoke of running away(and he did) which would get me highly pissed off.Why dont you damn well do it since youre a vampire and can run faster than me? Stop your stupid whining!
-Planning out every single moment of my life. Cmon! You may have everything else..but i have a brain!
-Overprotective. Let me not go there.*cant breathe already*
-Watches me sleep the whole night since he cant.Dude, that's seriously creepy man.
-Drinks blood*barf*
-Cold skinned and thirsty for my blood. Im sorry, but I rather be with a person who doesnt wanna rip my skin off and someone i can kiss properly and not be afraid of poisonous fangs
It makes me smile to see how girls do get easily hooked onto someone who is absolutely perfect. Is it because we can never find those perfect guys in the books? Or is it because we cannot accept flaws because we fall in love with these characters?
All im saying is that this author knows what we want. And the fact that she gave in too much made me fishy. Bella's superficial nature is easy to read because its so plain and clear in all of the books.
When someone asks me what i want in a guy,
All I can say is that I don't have a checklist. But I definitely know what I DONT want.
That's a start.
Not bad for a 19 year old.
Yes, I know every single girl has probably read this series. And so have I. So you can stop right there if my lack of knowledge has got anything to do with your silly comments. Some liked the books better, some liked the movies. Personally, I didnt like the books. But I thought the movies were well done. What I mean by 'the movie well done' is that the they didnt cut off a lotta parts, which is what normally happens to a lot of books that become movies and the casting was done well. But the biggest thing that every Twilighter is at loggerheads about is-
Edward or Jacob?
The first thing that everybody does is list the good qualities about them and decide which one is better. What girls dont understand that they are both different people and a girl would go for someone which has the highest points on her checklist.
Edward is a vampire, very romantic, protective, goodlooking and says all the right and mushy things that every woman wants to hear her man say("Take care of my heart..ive left it with you" practically made every girl go awww).
Jacob is funny, always happy, fooling around, a great mechanic and is every girl's personal sunshine.And obviously a wearwolf. He never takes things seriously and takes life as it comes.
Of course, they are stark contrasts. Edward's very intense and Jacob-loose and easy. They are the 2 different types of men that appeal to women. Of course, lets not categorise though. Men are far more diverse and complex. But I'm just talking about the characters here.
Even if i hadnt read the books and you told me both their characteristics- I would take Jacob.
However, instead of arguing whose better, lets see it from Bella's perspective?
How did she weigh the pros and cons?
Was she really in love with both of them?
Throughout the first book, if one is not a mushy person or gullible, you would be tired of reading her endless descriptions of Edward. I dont even want to count the number of times the word 'perfect' was used everytime his character arrived. The description was in the same vein but with just different vocabulary. At one point you wanna go "OK! I get it..He's absofreakinglutely beautiful and you are sexually deprieved."
Edward is also filthy rich, unlike Jacob. I really do not think she loved Jacob. Since all the books were (mostly) from her perspective it made you realise that she only described Jacob in slightly more detail when he had his growth spurt and his hair was cut. Hardly anything for a girl to swoon over.
Bella was also very keen on becoming a vampire.
Why?
Puh-lease, dont give me that shit about being in love. And that true love is when you give up everything for that someone.
Let me burst that tiny bubble you'll are living in and tell you to look past what the writer is trying to grill into your tiny conforming heads.
Vampire pros and cons.
You have to kill and drink blood and you loose your heart.
But instead, you get- 'immortality', 'eternal beauty' and 'inhuman strength' AND 'hot rich boyfriend'.
Wearwolf pros and cons.
With wearwolf Jacob you get, 'to be normal' and 'age and die'.
Ooo! Such a difficult decision!
Bah!
I look back at those books and question myself
Who would i have chosen?
Jacob.
Why?
Well, I have a number of reasons.
-Edward always spoke of running away(and he did) which would get me highly pissed off.Why dont you damn well do it since youre a vampire and can run faster than me? Stop your stupid whining!
-Planning out every single moment of my life. Cmon! You may have everything else..but i have a brain!
-Overprotective. Let me not go there.*cant breathe already*
-Watches me sleep the whole night since he cant.Dude, that's seriously creepy man.
-Drinks blood*barf*
-Cold skinned and thirsty for my blood. Im sorry, but I rather be with a person who doesnt wanna rip my skin off and someone i can kiss properly and not be afraid of poisonous fangs
It makes me smile to see how girls do get easily hooked onto someone who is absolutely perfect. Is it because we can never find those perfect guys in the books? Or is it because we cannot accept flaws because we fall in love with these characters?
All im saying is that this author knows what we want. And the fact that she gave in too much made me fishy. Bella's superficial nature is easy to read because its so plain and clear in all of the books.
When someone asks me what i want in a guy,
All I can say is that I don't have a checklist. But I definitely know what I DONT want.
That's a start.
Not bad for a 19 year old.
My sweet star.
I feel like i'm safe.
Up here where u cant see me
None of my blemishes or scars
See u fly and soar - alive and free.
Your pain seeps through
And it cuts me to see you like this
I try to lend u some faith
But you push it away for a quick fix
Trust and belief seems far away
Selfless acts are impossible
Feeling low till u can't feel nothing at all
And your thoughts always stray
I wish you saw yourself through my eyes
Promise, disarming, soothing and bleeding
Dont turn away with a sigh.
numbing, decaying and denying.. yourself every feeling
Up here where u cant see me
None of my blemishes or scars
See u fly and soar - alive and free.
Your pain seeps through
And it cuts me to see you like this
I try to lend u some faith
But you push it away for a quick fix
Trust and belief seems far away
Selfless acts are impossible
Feeling low till u can't feel nothing at all
And your thoughts always stray
I wish you saw yourself through my eyes
Promise, disarming, soothing and bleeding
Dont turn away with a sigh.
numbing, decaying and denying.. yourself every feeling
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Testimonial
Dad and me share a very wierd relationship. That's why I like it best. He's a bass guitarist and his looks have more than once got him and me in trouble. *wink* He didn't spend much time with me while I grew up because of his busy peculiar schedule. He was always on tour. But he remembers every single incident with me and he imitates me, making me laugh.
We're similar in many ways. We both hate showing affection. We get uncomfortable when mum tries to baby talk and hug us into doing something. We just look at each other with raised eyebrows, hoping against hope that she stops. Both of us pride ourselves on managing to survive even when the house is messy (in fact we like and make the mess) and managing to stay hours on end without a fan in heat. We both strategise on ways to avoid rosary and block out mum's voice when she reads from the Bible or some useless articles from the newspaper ("Smoking reduces ur sperm count" - for dad and "Increasing number of women are not afraid to tell their parents they are not straight"- for me.)
Very uncomfortable, I know.
Dad and me gang up on mum by cracking really gross dirty jokes, just to get her out of the room, apalled.
Dad gets slightly neurotic sometimes and I think I get that from him.
He came back from a long tour for one month and had grown a ponytail and shaved his moustache. It nearly made me fall off my chair. And all he said was, "You're not the only one around here who shocks."
Mum hated it. She cut off the ponytail in the night.
After that I realised i get the psychoness(if thats a word) from both of them.
We both argue on different economic and political issues and the Bible(he's an aethist) since we have contrasting views. They can get violent.
He resists and doesnt move if mum nags him to do some work. However, the few times that I do agree with mum, he just grimaces painfully and does the work anyway.
We both watch the football world cup matches (all the early morning and late night ones too) religiously, scaring mum with our curses and whoops.
He respects privacy and space and we can do our own things in comfortable silence for hours on end.
He's a sore loser (from BINGO to debates) and will keep trying till he wins atleast marginally.
He normally leaves early for flights while I'm still sleeping. He kisses me before going, his scratchy stubble waking me up slightly. If i remember and tease him about it when he comes back he denies it vehemently.
He has his flaws too.
He's always been hard on me since i was a kid.
An example I remember very clearly in my life.
"Mom! I got a 24 on 25 in my History exam."
"Great! I'll make something yummy for dinner tonight. Go tell dad."
"Dad! I got 24 on 25 in history."
"Really?Where did u loose that mark?"
"Dad, its the highest."
"Oh well.Then the paper must have been easy."
Yes, that made my shoulders droop. But I've hardened over time. I still flinch when he says something like that but it makes my resolve stronger. And it gives me a high to prove him wrong.
Pocket money was and is still a complete no. When I go for trips, he talks about being rid of me for a few days. What he doesnt know(mum told me) that he makes her call and tells her not to tell me that he instigated it.
He talks about how when I do get married, he will be rid of me for good.
This incident last night prompted me to write this.
I announced that I wouldnt marry because I didnt think I was an easy person to live with.
Dad silently kept reading his newspaper, like he didnt care. But I saw his eyes narrow.
Mum was flabbergasted.
"You will do no such thing. You will adjust and learn to compromise."
"It still wont work man."
"Dont use that language with me. This is all your fault."
That is normally the accusation that follows.
Dad folded up his newspaper and looked at her saying, "Why is this my fault?"
"She's become just like you. A recluse. Doesnt want to go out anywhere. Not even shopping with her own mother. Always that bored, haughty, khadoos expression on her face."
"I do not know how that is my fault and what relevance it has to this discussion. What she is trying to say is that until she finds a man that she is compatible enough with, she will not get married. Since she doesnt see that happening since she is realistic enough to know what her faults are, she wont put a man through that much trouble."
My mother huffed. "i live with you dont i?"
"She's worse than me."
I smirked. Aah, the pain when someone knows you so well. Almost.
She went into the kitchen, muttering distinctly about disowning me.
I was still staring at dad, who started doing the crossword.
"She wants me to get married so that she can see a big fat white dress wedding on me that she didnt have and grandkids. Why do you NOT want me to get married?"
He frowned.
"Who said I dont? Good riddance, I say."
"Aah, you just dont want another man more important than you in my life."
He snorted, "Nobody is more important than me when it comes to you."
"That's what you think, old man." Trying to pull his leg.
"You're not getting money tomorrow."
Damn. Hate it when he plays that card.
"Fine, you're the most important. But this one's working only till I get a job."
"Or till mum's nagging is on. Which is forever."
We burst out laughing.
After writing this, its no wonder my first word was 'papa'.
Mum still hates that.
We're similar in many ways. We both hate showing affection. We get uncomfortable when mum tries to baby talk and hug us into doing something. We just look at each other with raised eyebrows, hoping against hope that she stops. Both of us pride ourselves on managing to survive even when the house is messy (in fact we like and make the mess) and managing to stay hours on end without a fan in heat. We both strategise on ways to avoid rosary and block out mum's voice when she reads from the Bible or some useless articles from the newspaper ("Smoking reduces ur sperm count" - for dad and "Increasing number of women are not afraid to tell their parents they are not straight"- for me.)
Very uncomfortable, I know.
Dad and me gang up on mum by cracking really gross dirty jokes, just to get her out of the room, apalled.
Dad gets slightly neurotic sometimes and I think I get that from him.
He came back from a long tour for one month and had grown a ponytail and shaved his moustache. It nearly made me fall off my chair. And all he said was, "You're not the only one around here who shocks."
Mum hated it. She cut off the ponytail in the night.
After that I realised i get the psychoness(if thats a word) from both of them.
We both argue on different economic and political issues and the Bible(he's an aethist) since we have contrasting views. They can get violent.
He resists and doesnt move if mum nags him to do some work. However, the few times that I do agree with mum, he just grimaces painfully and does the work anyway.
We both watch the football world cup matches (all the early morning and late night ones too) religiously, scaring mum with our curses and whoops.
He respects privacy and space and we can do our own things in comfortable silence for hours on end.
He's a sore loser (from BINGO to debates) and will keep trying till he wins atleast marginally.
He normally leaves early for flights while I'm still sleeping. He kisses me before going, his scratchy stubble waking me up slightly. If i remember and tease him about it when he comes back he denies it vehemently.
He has his flaws too.
He's always been hard on me since i was a kid.
An example I remember very clearly in my life.
"Mom! I got a 24 on 25 in my History exam."
"Great! I'll make something yummy for dinner tonight. Go tell dad."
"Dad! I got 24 on 25 in history."
"Really?Where did u loose that mark?"
"Dad, its the highest."
"Oh well.Then the paper must have been easy."
Yes, that made my shoulders droop. But I've hardened over time. I still flinch when he says something like that but it makes my resolve stronger. And it gives me a high to prove him wrong.
Pocket money was and is still a complete no. When I go for trips, he talks about being rid of me for a few days. What he doesnt know(mum told me) that he makes her call and tells her not to tell me that he instigated it.
He talks about how when I do get married, he will be rid of me for good.
This incident last night prompted me to write this.
I announced that I wouldnt marry because I didnt think I was an easy person to live with.
Dad silently kept reading his newspaper, like he didnt care. But I saw his eyes narrow.
Mum was flabbergasted.
"You will do no such thing. You will adjust and learn to compromise."
"It still wont work man."
"Dont use that language with me. This is all your fault."
That is normally the accusation that follows.
Dad folded up his newspaper and looked at her saying, "Why is this my fault?"
"She's become just like you. A recluse. Doesnt want to go out anywhere. Not even shopping with her own mother. Always that bored, haughty, khadoos expression on her face."
"I do not know how that is my fault and what relevance it has to this discussion. What she is trying to say is that until she finds a man that she is compatible enough with, she will not get married. Since she doesnt see that happening since she is realistic enough to know what her faults are, she wont put a man through that much trouble."
My mother huffed. "i live with you dont i?"
"She's worse than me."
I smirked. Aah, the pain when someone knows you so well. Almost.
She went into the kitchen, muttering distinctly about disowning me.
I was still staring at dad, who started doing the crossword.
"She wants me to get married so that she can see a big fat white dress wedding on me that she didnt have and grandkids. Why do you NOT want me to get married?"
He frowned.
"Who said I dont? Good riddance, I say."
"Aah, you just dont want another man more important than you in my life."
He snorted, "Nobody is more important than me when it comes to you."
"That's what you think, old man." Trying to pull his leg.
"You're not getting money tomorrow."
Damn. Hate it when he plays that card.
"Fine, you're the most important. But this one's working only till I get a job."
"Or till mum's nagging is on. Which is forever."
We burst out laughing.
After writing this, its no wonder my first word was 'papa'.
Mum still hates that.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
A consensus..finally..
I started studying sociology in first year. Since it was a new subject, I was slightly apprehensive. I entered the class and the professor was Father Arun. He started talking about the flaws in our education system and how he teaches stuff a little differently around here. He said he wasnt going to give notes. That the muggers would take down whatever they could at breakneck speed and the real students could just listen to him and learn more than the muggers. We thought he was kidding cause what would we do without notes? So we took out our books anyway.
Before he started, all he said was "Muggers of the world unite, you have only your brains to loose."
We ignored him.
He started on Durkheim. He talked about his childhood.
We scribbled.
His love life.
We scribbled.
His travels.
They scribbled. I gave up. I wasnt getting anything.
I decided I would just listen. Research about it later.
Probably the best decision I ever made.
That was probably when I started to look at everything in a new light. Things werent as simple as they seemed. Through these 2 years I have been only listening to Arun and he's the only teacher in Sociology that made me think. Question. How difficult it was to define and be precise because there were always flaws.
We learnt 2 perspectives to a large extent in the last 2 years. Let me give you a run through.
Functionalist Perspective by Emile Durkheim
Society was held together by the sharing a set of social guidelines or norms, based upon a moral consensus or collective consciousness. These norms set the boundaries for acceptable behavior within a society or culture. In more traditional pre-industrial cultures, he believed that members were bound together by common experiences and lifestyles, with shared beliefs that evolved from having similar occupations, which he termed as 'mechanical solidarity.' There existed what Durkheim referred to as a 'conscience collective' that is a collective morality or set of values which guide and control individual behaviour. The strength of these shared beliefs is repressive to any individual action which threatens or challenges the community's traditions and existing patterns of life.
Marxist Perspective by Karl Marx
Society is divided into the workers and capatilists. The capatilists own the means of production and hence control everything ranging from employment to media. This makes people conform and not question their will. They tell the people through various channels how society should be ordered so as to suit their interests. This would repress any uprising that would take away their ownership, thus restricting social change and labelling the opposition as deviants.
Every single chapter we did, they were constantly at loggerheads. I could almost imagine Durkheim as this calm serene man who always wanted peace, delusioned to think that everyone was good. Marx was like this maniacal person who always criticized and never thought anyone could do a selfless act probably.
During my first year, I liked Marx. But when economics and Political Science seeped in me too (since i started questioning those subjects too), I came to realise that Marx is very flawed too. Now I've come to take a critique things realistically.
I wasnt prepared for my last Socio Arun's paper which was today. It was the last paper and I wasnt motivated enough. Other distractions were coming up too. So I decided to start on the morning of the exam.
I was studying both these perspectives on tourism. As i read both the perspectives, my eyes widened. This wasnt possible. Never had it happened in any of the previous chapter had they agreed. On something.
Those Socio students who still remember will probably say that the theories on Tourism were different and im wrong. Look closely guys. Ill put it down for you.
Tourism:functionalist perspective.
The process of industrialisation and urbanisation threatened mechanical solidarity, as labour was divided into more specialist types and tasks, and people relocated from rural and urban areas. The characteristics of pre industrial societies started to undergo a change. The face-to-face relationships that characterised mechanical solidarity and other forms of informal social control, including cultural customs that held society together, were replaced by more formalised ones through the state and law,which Durkheim termed 'organic solidarity'.
In this form, there is absence of clear standards, leading to disruption of an individual's orientation.
Hence, they go on a holiday..as a form of escapism...
Marx
Work is central to our lives and leads to fulfillment of one's life. He said that capatilism increased alienation not only because exploitation is at its highest, but also because the market mechanism encourages the treatment of workers as commodities of production, to be used and discarded as required. Workers in a capatilist industrialised system have less autonomy and fulfillment and are subject to market forces in terms of job secuirity. Hence, there is no fulfillment. He suggests that people travel because they no longer feel at ease where they are, neither where they work nor where they live.
Of course, it is far more complex..There are variants of these theories which were made by their followers but ....
Alleluia!!!
They both agree specialization is bad.
Of course, I have to think and figure out where i stand.
As I end SYBA and devote my entire next and last year to the study of the most objective of social sciences- Economics- I feel Ive lost something far more. I wish I could do all the three subjects in one go. But I've made my choice.
But I would like to take this opportunity to thank these professors who made learning not just literacy but education. This is a tribute to them.
Professor Agnello Menezes (Economics)
Professor Arun D'souza (Sociology)
Professor Prathiba Naithani (Political Science)
The others were pathetic.
Before he started, all he said was "Muggers of the world unite, you have only your brains to loose."
We ignored him.
He started on Durkheim. He talked about his childhood.
We scribbled.
His love life.
We scribbled.
His travels.
They scribbled. I gave up. I wasnt getting anything.
I decided I would just listen. Research about it later.
Probably the best decision I ever made.
That was probably when I started to look at everything in a new light. Things werent as simple as they seemed. Through these 2 years I have been only listening to Arun and he's the only teacher in Sociology that made me think. Question. How difficult it was to define and be precise because there were always flaws.
We learnt 2 perspectives to a large extent in the last 2 years. Let me give you a run through.
Functionalist Perspective by Emile Durkheim
Society was held together by the sharing a set of social guidelines or norms, based upon a moral consensus or collective consciousness. These norms set the boundaries for acceptable behavior within a society or culture. In more traditional pre-industrial cultures, he believed that members were bound together by common experiences and lifestyles, with shared beliefs that evolved from having similar occupations, which he termed as 'mechanical solidarity.' There existed what Durkheim referred to as a 'conscience collective' that is a collective morality or set of values which guide and control individual behaviour. The strength of these shared beliefs is repressive to any individual action which threatens or challenges the community's traditions and existing patterns of life.
Marxist Perspective by Karl Marx
Society is divided into the workers and capatilists. The capatilists own the means of production and hence control everything ranging from employment to media. This makes people conform and not question their will. They tell the people through various channels how society should be ordered so as to suit their interests. This would repress any uprising that would take away their ownership, thus restricting social change and labelling the opposition as deviants.
Every single chapter we did, they were constantly at loggerheads. I could almost imagine Durkheim as this calm serene man who always wanted peace, delusioned to think that everyone was good. Marx was like this maniacal person who always criticized and never thought anyone could do a selfless act probably.
During my first year, I liked Marx. But when economics and Political Science seeped in me too (since i started questioning those subjects too), I came to realise that Marx is very flawed too. Now I've come to take a critique things realistically.
I wasnt prepared for my last Socio Arun's paper which was today. It was the last paper and I wasnt motivated enough. Other distractions were coming up too. So I decided to start on the morning of the exam.
I was studying both these perspectives on tourism. As i read both the perspectives, my eyes widened. This wasnt possible. Never had it happened in any of the previous chapter had they agreed. On something.
Those Socio students who still remember will probably say that the theories on Tourism were different and im wrong. Look closely guys. Ill put it down for you.
Tourism:functionalist perspective.
The process of industrialisation and urbanisation threatened mechanical solidarity, as labour was divided into more specialist types and tasks, and people relocated from rural and urban areas. The characteristics of pre industrial societies started to undergo a change. The face-to-face relationships that characterised mechanical solidarity and other forms of informal social control, including cultural customs that held society together, were replaced by more formalised ones through the state and law,which Durkheim termed 'organic solidarity'.
In this form, there is absence of clear standards, leading to disruption of an individual's orientation.
Hence, they go on a holiday..as a form of escapism...
Marx
Work is central to our lives and leads to fulfillment of one's life. He said that capatilism increased alienation not only because exploitation is at its highest, but also because the market mechanism encourages the treatment of workers as commodities of production, to be used and discarded as required. Workers in a capatilist industrialised system have less autonomy and fulfillment and are subject to market forces in terms of job secuirity. Hence, there is no fulfillment. He suggests that people travel because they no longer feel at ease where they are, neither where they work nor where they live.
Of course, it is far more complex..There are variants of these theories which were made by their followers but ....
Alleluia!!!
They both agree specialization is bad.
Of course, I have to think and figure out where i stand.
As I end SYBA and devote my entire next and last year to the study of the most objective of social sciences- Economics- I feel Ive lost something far more. I wish I could do all the three subjects in one go. But I've made my choice.
But I would like to take this opportunity to thank these professors who made learning not just literacy but education. This is a tribute to them.
Professor Agnello Menezes (Economics)
Professor Arun D'souza (Sociology)
Professor Prathiba Naithani (Political Science)
The others were pathetic.
Monday, April 5, 2010
My first kiss..
Let me take you back to when I was in tenth standard. I was 15 then. Ill tell you how different I was. I had short hair with a small ponytail down the back which i could tuck behind the collar of my school uniform so I wouldnt get caught by the teacher or nuns. An aethist who was pushed to go for a retreat, specifically for Catholic students- to help us live our life 'meaningfully'. I wore my dad's clothes- atleast the tees and the pants were mine but a miniature version of my dad's with a lotta pockets.
If my school friends are reading this, they would be nodding their heads, remembering. And the Catholics would be laughing they're guts off. Now, we were there for 3 days-friday, saturday and coming back on sunday. My first kiss happened on a saturday. It was just after a session where the priest had made everyone close their eyes and meditate on what he said. By the end of it, everyone was crying. Apart from me.
That's cause I dozed off.
Anyway, after the session we had a one hour break where we could compose ourselves so we all gathered up in one room to talk. Since I didnt want to talk about my fabulous dream of me on a stage, playing a guitar and vent out my frustration on being rudely shaken awake, I decided to get my headphones. So I went back to my room to get them.
Here, I must tell you about one of the Catholic girls. Her name was Akshaya. She was tanned, one of those girls who were confident about their bodies (she had a good one to be confident about), had no qualms about showing it off(she was wearing miniskirts and heels on a retreat!) and was so clea about being a swim suit model that she told the priest! Well, she never really talked to a lotta people so I thought it was no surprise that she came up the stairs slightly late. As I walked past her to the other end of the corridor towards the room full of people, she stopped me.
I looked at her. She was teary eyed and I guessed she must be crying because of the previous session. I was uncomfortable then because I didnt know how to handle people crying(still dont) but she made it easier. She hugged me.
I patter her on her back awkwardly and told her the usual 'everything will be fine..blah blah..'
She hugged me tighter and said something muffled.
"What?I didnt catch that."
"I like you."
I looked down at her. Maybe she was feeling unloved or some crap like that. Since nobody talked to her. So I said-
"I like you too."
She smiled. And i thought she was fine now. "Ill go now.And dont listen to anything that priest says."
Her face fell since she guessed I didnt understand what she had said.She caught my hand and pulled me back.She caught my face in both her hands and her nose touched mine.
"I like like you."
It dawned on me then and before I could say anything, she kissed me.
My eyes widened. Ok, this is awkward.
I jumped back."Uhh..Akshaya..uhh..im like guys."
"No you dont.Give me the name of one guy you really like."
I dont know if it was about being disoriented but i couldnt think of anyone then.So I made up one.
"Oliver."
"Whose that?"
"Just you know..in my building.."
"But I thought you like girls."
"Why would you think something like that?"
"Because of the way you dress."
I looked down at my baggy trousers. And my white and blue (dad's) striped t shirt. Okay, maybe she's right.
I looked up at her and shrugged. "I'm sorry but nope. I like guys."
She nodded sadly and gave me a last hug.
I walked numbly towards the room and shut the door behind me, assaulted by the chatter. Rachel noticed my expression and asked, "What happened?"
"Nothing man. Everything's 'straightened' out."
If my school friends are reading this, they would be nodding their heads, remembering. And the Catholics would be laughing they're guts off. Now, we were there for 3 days-friday, saturday and coming back on sunday. My first kiss happened on a saturday. It was just after a session where the priest had made everyone close their eyes and meditate on what he said. By the end of it, everyone was crying. Apart from me.
That's cause I dozed off.
Anyway, after the session we had a one hour break where we could compose ourselves so we all gathered up in one room to talk. Since I didnt want to talk about my fabulous dream of me on a stage, playing a guitar and vent out my frustration on being rudely shaken awake, I decided to get my headphones. So I went back to my room to get them.
Here, I must tell you about one of the Catholic girls. Her name was Akshaya. She was tanned, one of those girls who were confident about their bodies (she had a good one to be confident about), had no qualms about showing it off(she was wearing miniskirts and heels on a retreat!) and was so clea about being a swim suit model that she told the priest! Well, she never really talked to a lotta people so I thought it was no surprise that she came up the stairs slightly late. As I walked past her to the other end of the corridor towards the room full of people, she stopped me.
I looked at her. She was teary eyed and I guessed she must be crying because of the previous session. I was uncomfortable then because I didnt know how to handle people crying(still dont) but she made it easier. She hugged me.
I patter her on her back awkwardly and told her the usual 'everything will be fine..blah blah..'
She hugged me tighter and said something muffled.
"What?I didnt catch that."
"I like you."
I looked down at her. Maybe she was feeling unloved or some crap like that. Since nobody talked to her. So I said-
"I like you too."
She smiled. And i thought she was fine now. "Ill go now.And dont listen to anything that priest says."
Her face fell since she guessed I didnt understand what she had said.She caught my hand and pulled me back.She caught my face in both her hands and her nose touched mine.
"I like like you."
It dawned on me then and before I could say anything, she kissed me.
My eyes widened. Ok, this is awkward.
I jumped back."Uhh..Akshaya..uhh..im like guys."
"No you dont.Give me the name of one guy you really like."
I dont know if it was about being disoriented but i couldnt think of anyone then.So I made up one.
"Oliver."
"Whose that?"
"Just you know..in my building.."
"But I thought you like girls."
"Why would you think something like that?"
"Because of the way you dress."
I looked down at my baggy trousers. And my white and blue (dad's) striped t shirt. Okay, maybe she's right.
I looked up at her and shrugged. "I'm sorry but nope. I like guys."
She nodded sadly and gave me a last hug.
I walked numbly towards the room and shut the door behind me, assaulted by the chatter. Rachel noticed my expression and asked, "What happened?"
"Nothing man. Everything's 'straightened' out."
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Future Shock!
This is from a book ive been reading called 'Future Shock' By Alvin Toffler. Bits and pieces taken. It was popular on facebook, even though the discussion went slightly haywire.
Culture shock has already begun to creep into popular vocabulary. Culture shock is the effect that immersion in a strange culture has on an unprepared visitor. The culture shock phenomenon accounts for much of the bewilderment, frustration, and disorientation that plagues Americans in their dealings with other societies. It causes a breakdown in communication, a misreading of reality, an inability to cope. Yet culture shock is relatively mild in comparison with a much more serious malady, future shcok.
Future shock is the much more dizzying disorientation brought on by the premature arrival of the future. It may well be the most important disease of tomorrow. Future shock will not be found in Index Medicus or in any listing of psychological abnormalities. Yet, unless intelligent steps are taken to combat it, millions of human beings will find themselves increasingly disoriented, progressively incompetent to deal rationally with their environments. The malaise, mass neurosis, irrationality and free floating violence already apparent in contemporary life are merely a foretaste of what may lay ahead unless we come to understand and treat the disease.
Future shock is a time phenomenon, a product of the greatly accelerated rate of change in society. It arises from the superimposition of a new culture on an old one. It is culture shock in ones own society. But its impact is far worse. For most travelers, they have the comforting knowledge that the culture they leave behind will be there to return to. The victim of future shock does not.
Many of us have a vague feeling that things are moving faster.Doctors and executives alike complain that they cannot keep up with the latest developments in their fields. Among many there is an uneasy mood- a suspicion that change is out of control. Not everyone however, shares this anxiety. Millions sleep walk their way through their lives as if nothing had changed since the 1930’s and as if nothing ever will. Living in what is certainly one of the most exciting periods in human history, they attempt to withdraw from it, to block it out, as if it were possible to make it go away by ignoring it. They seek a diplomatic immunity from change.
One sees them everywhere: old people resigned to living out their years, attempting to avoid, at any cost, the intrusions of the new. Already- old people of 35 and 45 are nervous about student riots, sex, or miniskirts, feverishly attempting to persuade themselves that youth after all was always rebellious and what is happening today is no different from the past. Even among young we find an incomprehension of change: students so ignorant of the past that they see nothing unusual about the present.
How do we know that change is accelerating? There is, after all, no absolute way to measure change. In the awesome complexity of the universe, even within any given society, a virtually infinite number of streams of change occur simultaneously. All ‘things’ from the tiniest virus to the greatest galaxy, are, in reality, not things at all but processes. There is no static point, no nirvana like un-change, against which to measure change. Change is therefore, necessarily relative.
It is also uneven. If all processes occurred at the same speed, or even if they accelerated or decelerated in unison, it would be impossible to observe change. The future, however, invades the present at different speeds. Thus, it becomes possible to compare the speed of different processes as they unfold. We know, for example, that compared with the biological evolution of the species, cultural and social evolution is extremely rapid. We know that some societies transform themselves technologically or economically more rapidly than others. We also know that different sectors from the same society exhibit different rates of change. It is precisely the unevenness of change that makes it measurable.
We need however a yardstick that makes it possible to compare highly diverse processes and this yardstick is time. Without time, change has no meaning. And without change time would stop. Time can be conceived as the intervals during which events occur. Time is the currency of exchange that makes it possible to compare the rates at which very different processes play themselves out.
Given the unevenness of change and armed with this yardstick, we still face exhausting difficulties in measuring change. When we speak of the rate of change, we refer to the number of events crowded into an arbitary fixed interval of time. Thus, we need to define the events. We need to select our intervals with precision. We need to be able about the conclusions we draw from the differences we observe. Moreover, in the measurement of change, we are today far more advanced with respect to physical processes than social processes. We know, for example, how to measure the rate at which blood flows through the body than the rate at which a rumor flows through society.
Even with these qualifications, however there is widespread agreement, reaching from historians and archaelogists all across the spectrum to scientists, sociologists, economists and psychologists, that, many social processes are speeding up- strikingly, even spectacularly.
Culture shock has already begun to creep into popular vocabulary. Culture shock is the effect that immersion in a strange culture has on an unprepared visitor. The culture shock phenomenon accounts for much of the bewilderment, frustration, and disorientation that plagues Americans in their dealings with other societies. It causes a breakdown in communication, a misreading of reality, an inability to cope. Yet culture shock is relatively mild in comparison with a much more serious malady, future shcok.
Future shock is the much more dizzying disorientation brought on by the premature arrival of the future. It may well be the most important disease of tomorrow. Future shock will not be found in Index Medicus or in any listing of psychological abnormalities. Yet, unless intelligent steps are taken to combat it, millions of human beings will find themselves increasingly disoriented, progressively incompetent to deal rationally with their environments. The malaise, mass neurosis, irrationality and free floating violence already apparent in contemporary life are merely a foretaste of what may lay ahead unless we come to understand and treat the disease.
Future shock is a time phenomenon, a product of the greatly accelerated rate of change in society. It arises from the superimposition of a new culture on an old one. It is culture shock in ones own society. But its impact is far worse. For most travelers, they have the comforting knowledge that the culture they leave behind will be there to return to. The victim of future shock does not.
Many of us have a vague feeling that things are moving faster.Doctors and executives alike complain that they cannot keep up with the latest developments in their fields. Among many there is an uneasy mood- a suspicion that change is out of control. Not everyone however, shares this anxiety. Millions sleep walk their way through their lives as if nothing had changed since the 1930’s and as if nothing ever will. Living in what is certainly one of the most exciting periods in human history, they attempt to withdraw from it, to block it out, as if it were possible to make it go away by ignoring it. They seek a diplomatic immunity from change.
One sees them everywhere: old people resigned to living out their years, attempting to avoid, at any cost, the intrusions of the new. Already- old people of 35 and 45 are nervous about student riots, sex, or miniskirts, feverishly attempting to persuade themselves that youth after all was always rebellious and what is happening today is no different from the past. Even among young we find an incomprehension of change: students so ignorant of the past that they see nothing unusual about the present.
How do we know that change is accelerating? There is, after all, no absolute way to measure change. In the awesome complexity of the universe, even within any given society, a virtually infinite number of streams of change occur simultaneously. All ‘things’ from the tiniest virus to the greatest galaxy, are, in reality, not things at all but processes. There is no static point, no nirvana like un-change, against which to measure change. Change is therefore, necessarily relative.
It is also uneven. If all processes occurred at the same speed, or even if they accelerated or decelerated in unison, it would be impossible to observe change. The future, however, invades the present at different speeds. Thus, it becomes possible to compare the speed of different processes as they unfold. We know, for example, that compared with the biological evolution of the species, cultural and social evolution is extremely rapid. We know that some societies transform themselves technologically or economically more rapidly than others. We also know that different sectors from the same society exhibit different rates of change. It is precisely the unevenness of change that makes it measurable.
We need however a yardstick that makes it possible to compare highly diverse processes and this yardstick is time. Without time, change has no meaning. And without change time would stop. Time can be conceived as the intervals during which events occur. Time is the currency of exchange that makes it possible to compare the rates at which very different processes play themselves out.
Given the unevenness of change and armed with this yardstick, we still face exhausting difficulties in measuring change. When we speak of the rate of change, we refer to the number of events crowded into an arbitary fixed interval of time. Thus, we need to define the events. We need to select our intervals with precision. We need to be able about the conclusions we draw from the differences we observe. Moreover, in the measurement of change, we are today far more advanced with respect to physical processes than social processes. We know, for example, how to measure the rate at which blood flows through the body than the rate at which a rumor flows through society.
Even with these qualifications, however there is widespread agreement, reaching from historians and archaelogists all across the spectrum to scientists, sociologists, economists and psychologists, that, many social processes are speeding up- strikingly, even spectacularly.
Aah..Lets Roll!
Yea yea..I know everyone's doing it..But, Ill go with the mob on this one all right? I'm bad when it comes to speaking my mind, even when i have extreme reactions such as anger, disgust and loathing. So instead of blowing my head off about you, i'll just write about you in my blog. Don't worry, Ill calm down after that since I think public humiliation is one of the worst punishments.
This blog is probably goin to be about my school days, my thoughts, and the present. Since Facebook isnt really all that safe anymore with my family people coming in, this seems to be the best alternative option to talk about my escapades. Yes, i know this can be found out too but hey, who does stuff without the thrill of a possibility of getting caught?
Constructive criticism is always welcome. Dont give me that bull shit about how im too young to do all the things im doing. Dont tell me I think too much either. Dont tell me, I have issues. Dont tell me I need to get a life. Dont tell me my poor parents cant do anything to control me. Dont tell me i need to be in an asylum. I know all of that. So apart from that, everything else is welcome.
I dont know how this is all going to turn out. But I'm pretty sure im going to enjoy this ride. This is probably what i do best. This is what makes me feel good. Hopefully, it does get me into trouble...that is all i hope for..the rush and the tide that hits you..cheers!
This blog is probably goin to be about my school days, my thoughts, and the present. Since Facebook isnt really all that safe anymore with my family people coming in, this seems to be the best alternative option to talk about my escapades. Yes, i know this can be found out too but hey, who does stuff without the thrill of a possibility of getting caught?
Constructive criticism is always welcome. Dont give me that bull shit about how im too young to do all the things im doing. Dont tell me I think too much either. Dont tell me, I have issues. Dont tell me I need to get a life. Dont tell me my poor parents cant do anything to control me. Dont tell me i need to be in an asylum. I know all of that. So apart from that, everything else is welcome.
I dont know how this is all going to turn out. But I'm pretty sure im going to enjoy this ride. This is probably what i do best. This is what makes me feel good. Hopefully, it does get me into trouble...that is all i hope for..the rush and the tide that hits you..cheers!
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