Testimonial

Dad and me share a very wierd relationship. That's why I like it best. He's a bass guitarist and his looks have more than once got him and me in trouble. *wink* He didn't spend much time with me while I grew up because of his busy peculiar schedule. He was always on tour. But he remembers every single incident with me and he imitates me, making me laugh.
We're similar in many ways. We both hate showing affection. We get uncomfortable when mum tries to baby talk and hug us into doing something. We just look at each other with raised eyebrows, hoping against hope that she stops. Both of us pride ourselves on managing to survive even when the house is messy (in fact we like and make the mess) and managing to stay hours on end without a fan in heat. We both strategise on ways to avoid rosary and block out mum's voice when she reads from the Bible or some useless articles from the newspaper ("Smoking reduces ur sperm count" - for dad and "Increasing number of women are not afraid to tell their parents they are not straight"- for me.)
Very uncomfortable, I know.
Dad and me gang up on mum by cracking really gross dirty jokes, just to get her out of the room, apalled.
Dad gets slightly neurotic sometimes and I think I get that from him.
He came back from a long tour for one month and had grown a ponytail and shaved his moustache. It nearly made me fall off my chair. And all he said was, "You're not the only one around here who shocks."
Mum hated it. She cut off the ponytail in the night.
After that I realised i get the psychoness(if thats a word) from both of them.
We both argue on different economic and political issues and the Bible(he's an aethist) since we have contrasting views. They can get violent.
He resists and doesnt move if mum nags him to do some work. However, the few times that I do agree with mum, he just grimaces painfully and does the work anyway.
We both watch the football world cup matches (all the early morning and late night ones too) religiously, scaring mum with our curses and whoops.
He respects privacy and space and we can do our own things in comfortable silence for hours on end.
He's a sore loser (from BINGO to debates) and will keep trying till he wins atleast marginally.
He normally leaves early for flights while I'm still sleeping. He kisses me before going, his scratchy stubble waking me up slightly. If i remember and tease him about it when he comes back he denies it vehemently.
He has his flaws too.
He's always been hard on me since i was a kid.
An example I remember very clearly in my life.
"Mom! I got a 24 on 25 in my History exam."
"Great! I'll make something yummy for dinner tonight. Go tell dad."
"Dad! I got 24 on 25 in history."
"Really?Where did u loose that mark?"
"Dad, its the highest."
"Oh well.Then the paper must have been easy."
Yes, that made my shoulders droop. But I've hardened over time. I still flinch when he says something like that but it makes my resolve stronger. And it gives me a high to prove him wrong.
Pocket money was and is still a complete no. When I go for trips, he talks about being rid of me for a few days. What he doesnt know(mum told me) that he makes her call and tells her not to tell me that he instigated it.
He talks about how when I do get married, he will be rid of me for good.
This incident last night prompted me to write this.
I announced that I wouldnt marry because I didnt think I was an easy person to live with.
Dad silently kept reading his newspaper, like he didnt care. But I saw his eyes narrow.
Mum was flabbergasted.
"You will do no such thing. You will adjust and learn to compromise."
"It still wont work man."
"Dont use that language with me. This is all your fault."
That is normally the accusation that follows.
Dad folded up his newspaper and looked at her saying, "Why is this my fault?"
"She's become just like you. A recluse. Doesnt want to go out anywhere. Not even shopping with her own mother. Always that bored, haughty, khadoos expression on her face."
"I do not know how that is my fault and what relevance it has to this discussion. What she is trying to say is that until she finds a man that she is compatible enough with, she will not get married. Since she doesnt see that happening since she is realistic enough to know what her faults are, she wont put a man through that much trouble."
My mother huffed. "i live with you dont i?"
"She's worse than me."
I smirked. Aah, the pain when someone knows you so well. Almost.
She went into the kitchen, muttering distinctly about disowning me.
I was still staring at dad, who started doing the crossword.
"She wants me to get married so that she can see a big fat white dress wedding on me that she didnt have and grandkids. Why do you NOT want me to get married?"
He frowned.
"Who said I dont? Good riddance, I say."
"Aah, you just dont want another man more important than you in my life."
He snorted, "Nobody is more important than me when it comes to you."
"That's what you think, old man." Trying to pull his leg.
"You're not getting money tomorrow."
Damn. Hate it when he plays that card.
"Fine, you're the most important. But this one's working only till I get a job."
"Or till mum's nagging is on. Which is forever."
We burst out laughing.
After writing this, its no wonder my first word was 'papa'.
Mum still hates that.